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…With a hint of pointless

Beetroot chocolate. Gold-leaf champagne. Luxury water.

These are all signs that there is something really, terribly wrong with the world.

I like to think of myself as a simple person and not just when describing my lack of intelligence. To me, life is complete when I’ve got a dairy milk in one hand and a glass of water in the other. The chocolate does not need to be littered with nuts or fruit, the water does not need to come complete with ice and lemon; to me, they are best when left alone.

This is a principle that I extend to many things in life. I can have my cake and eat it without the need for an elaborate ribbon tied around its base. I can drive a car regardless of whether or not the number plate, which I cannot see, is private or not. I can sleep at night without needing my sheets to be made of the finest cotton. Life is, I think, really very simple. And yet, it would seem that others do not think so. Chocolate has to have ‘a hint of’ this and ‘a touch of’ that. Water has to be from the finest of springs, delivered in an ornate, glass bottle. Everything in the supermarket now comes in normal and ‘just because’ options.

Image sourced from here.

It is, perhaps, very middle class to do things not because they need to be done, but because they can be done; to add things and change everything just for the sake of saying that this is the case. Trying new things is something that I am very willing to do but, all too often I find myself preferring the original. In striving to make things better, we often make them several times worse.

This need to have pointless things causes a second, more serious problem: people insist on telling everyone about these them. They want every single person that walks through their front door to know the story of every single thing they own. They make the mistake of thinking that their poor visitors care about the white witch who crushes the muesli with her toes, or the water that is passed through rock retrieved from Jesus’ own tomb. They assume that, because they are obsessed with the unnecessary, everyone else must be too.

It is safe to say, however, that I am most certainly not obsessed with these ridiculous things. If something serves its purpose or pleases to an adequate level, it does not need to be messed with. ‘Item’ with a hint of pointless has no place in my life.


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