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Love Lab

Painted heart


I have had my fair share of egotistical men, even in the form of friendships. I have fallen in love with many guys but the feelings were not mutual. The agony of being friends with your guy is even hard to bear. For me, I have two mystery men in my life, constantly around me and always playing with my emotions. These guys run hot and cold, so it’s hard to understand what they really feel. Men should be more like women; open and talkative about what they’re feeling and able to express it. The friendship lines are very blurry, as they have been crossed many times, so is there such a thing anymore?

The worst is watching someone you care about fall for the wrong person again and again; a girl that is going to scar him permanently and you will be there, left to pick up the pieces. I’m fed up of being the ‘fix it’ girl, the one who mends broken hearts, I want someone to mend mine. Unfortunately for me I always fall for the damaged guys or the ones who need fixing. I know, how hypocritical of me, but it’s true and I can’t seem to help it. I feel as though I need some fresh meat, a new man to fixate on and that maybe I should distance myself from these existing men, but is that fair on them? Should I risk a solid friendship over my perfect lack of judgement? So many questions that I can’t even answer myself, but maybe my readers can.

Is being in a relationship all its cracked up to be anymore? All the ones around me seem to just be falling apart, like people have lost the meaning of love and true friendship and I have nothing to base my own affections on. Having a clear, stable role model of a normal family might have helped, but would it really change anything? People seem to take marriage for granted these days. It’s all about spending the most and having the perfect pictures to show your grandchildren. I know I’m being really cynical but it’s just how I see it, does no one else see the society we are building for the future?

Being in a relationship – is it really what’s most important in life? For me, just waking up and facing the day is a struggle and wanting to be alive and well is what I focus on. I might be doing it all wrong, but I know for a fact that all the men in my life have just made living that little bit harder for me.


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