*My last couple of posts where taken from a diary I kept at the time, unfortunately I got quite ill around the time I started to write articles on here, but today I am writing straight from the top of my head and the bottom of my heart, This is my story, it’s real, it’s emotional, it’s life*
Wow what can I say, what a journey I have been on, it’s had it’s ups and it’s had many many downs, my poor body has been poked and prodded, I have shed so many tears, both happy and sad, everything that could have gone wrong has, but I came through it.
I developed Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) because of the hormone injections, because of this I had to have an operation, to clip my left Fallopian tube as it had filled up with harmful fluid, (the surgeon very kindly unblocked my right Fallopian tube so I can maybe get pregnant naturally one day, silver lining) After my surgery I didn’t feel very well at all, my stitches weren’t dissolving, I was so tired, I lost my appetite which caused me to lose a lot of weight, it turned out I had contracted MRSA (this is not as contagious as people think it is) So the hospital put me on antibiotics, and wouldn’t you know it, I had a bad reaction to said antibiotics, cue me being rushed into hospital *le sigh* ….. 1 month passed by, a month of depression, anxiety and extreme anger (it was also a year since we lost my nan, Nedna) I just wanted my baby, I had 4 beautiful fertilised egg babies waiting for me, so close but yet so far. Anyway I finally kicked that nasty viruses bum (woohoo) then it was just a waiting game, siting by the phone waiting for the phone call to tell me I was well enough for the egg transfer…. And then it came, so I went out and bought lots of clearblue ovulation sticks (my kitten Helga thought it would be fun to make friends with my digital ovulation stick, how she climbed up on the shelf and took it out of the box is beyond me, I still love her though, cheeky kitten) 5 days later I got my first smiley face, my LH hormone level had finally surged, it was all going to plan, the embryologist called and spoke to Phil (my boyfriend, my bestfriend, my hero) she was thawing out our 4 egg babies and would ring back within the hour to let us know how many survived, if any. Oh my god that hadn’t even entered my mind, the fact that none of them could survive….longest hour ever!! But 3 of my egg babies survived, we were given a date for the transfer 11:30am on the 4th September, the day after my lovely nanny Nednas birthday, it was meant to be.
So last Saturday me and Phil went in to the hospital positive (singing David Bowies ‘kooks’) for the transfer, we had 1 really strong viking egg baby (myles the egg baby, myles is Hebrew for ‘gift from god’) the procedure usually only takes 10 minutes, it took 40 minutes (well this is me haha) I have a retroverted uterus (tilted womb) so they had to get the chief consultant in, that was a bit traumatic, poor Phil looked terrified, but he got the egg in. Well I was hysterically crying happy tears, which set Phil off and even the nurse and doctor started crying, it was wonderful, the love and positivity I felt in that little room was overwhelming, so here we are waiting to find out if I finally get my baby I have always wanted, I have battled through against all the odds, days away from taking that pregnancy test that could change my life for the better for ever. ( I had to take a break there I couldn’t see the screen for the tears) my point is if you want/need something as much as this you will literally go to hell an back for it, and although it gets so SO tough you’ll come through the other end, even if the egg baby doesn’t settle in and I don’t get pregnant this time, it’s ok!! Look at what I’ve done, I am so very proud that I’ve made it this far against all odds I made it to here, I will get my baby, even if I don’t give birth my little hunny myself, I will get what I want…. And without sounding cheesesy – I am STRONG, I’m INVINCIBLE, I AM WOMAN!! Keep fighting for what you want ladies you’re amazing.
all my love, hope and prayers Emma xxxx