National Eating Disorders Awareness Week is coming up (23rd February-1st March) and I thought, what better way to raise awareness than to write about it? So, here is my contribution:
Remember those lazy Sunday mornings, when we would make pancakes and lick the bowl clean?
There were eggs in there, but it didn’t matter then. It matters now.
Everything matters now.
Those sunny days in the park, sitting in the grass for hours on end, while puppies tried to steal our strawberries,
And we tried to hide them under our skirts. We laughed about it.
But it’s not funny any more.
Years of salty tears and sticky fingers, morsels pushed around on paper plates, dropped accidentally into tissues, sleeves and toilets.
Dresses we outgrew and then fit into once again and felt ever more pretty the second time around. Ethereal fairies, almost invisible to the human eye.
Trying to warm up our rigid fingers but our frozen breaths only whisper cruel half-truths that confine us into our cages that hold our still beating hearts.
This is not the life we were promised.
And as our thoughts grow on the inside, trying to stop growing on the outside, we come to realise the excruciating truth,
That our desire to look at ourselves and see nothing but bones will be fulfilled only when our souls leave what is left of our bodies and look down.