In the early stages of motherhood everyone tells you to get out and about and visit as many mummy and baby groups as possible. Some people swear by them and for others it’s not really their cup of tea. I fall into the latter category. I always felt that the other mums were suspiciously well groomed and seemed to have it all together when I was still worrying about taking my little lady out because she might need a feed or what if she cries? I’d speak to these mums and they would be full of stories about how their little ones were sleeping through and how they found the time to do yoga while the little one has a scheduled nap! This is not the kind of baby group I needed. I needed a group full of mums just like me that were still walking around in a daze, constantly tired, couldn’t get their little ones to sleep through, didn’t have time to have a shower let alone do yoga. I needed a zombie mums club! A club where mums could turn up with unwashed hair and clothes stained with baby sick and no one would bat an eyelid.
We would talk about how bad things still were and question why our little ones wouldn’t sleep. We could all panic together when we hear the ‘milk cry’ or worse still the ‘I don’t know why you are crying cry’. I would walk along the street sometimes, pushing my little lady and see another mum approaching. I would aim my pram in their direction and look up hopefully at them, smiling and trying to subconsciously invite them to be my mum friend. You could tell the mums who were feeling in the same zombie-like state as me, they too would smile and nod as we passed each other. The mums from the yummy mummy’s club or ‘the others’ as I like to call them would simply avert their eyes, noses in the air and stride on without a second glance. To them, in their skinny jeans with their fancy designer handbags hung casually over the pram handles, we zombie mums must look a bit of a state, hair scraped back, no makeup on, usually in our uniform of leggings and a milk stained top.
Its many months on now and when I walk down the street in my skinny jeans with my beautiful coral coloured satchel hanging over my pram handles, if I see a zombie mum approaching with her hair scraped back with no makeup on, I smile and nod to let her know that I too was a zombie mum.