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Love Lab


Yin and yang

So today I would like to speak about the importance of balancing all of our doing with some being. Too much giving and not enough receiving makes for a very unhappy little bunny!

The masculine is action oriented and the feminine is feeling and experience oriented. If we become imbalanced on either end of the scale life feels tough, like a struggle, hard going, over-worked, underappreciated and a whole host of not so nice things. Many of us believe that our success lies in the constant doing that is so impressed upon us by modern western culture but it is so important to allow ourselves time to just BE.

I have also noticed an interesting thing about myself. For a long time I was trying very hard to stop trying, lol.

“Ok this meditation practice, I must get it “right”. I must begin yoga, I must watch my thoughts, I must, I must, I must…”

Actually a lot of that, although there were the best of intentions behind it, were still actions based on the energy of doing and achieving. I realised that something had to shift. Some days, no matter how hard I pushed myself, nothing would get done and the results would not come to me when I expected them to. This was very frustrating for me as I had been promised that the more I did, the happier I would become and the more successful as a result. This didn’t work and now I am very grateful for what it taught me.

You are made of yin and yang, feminine and masculine and it’s pretty impossible to be truly fulfilled without experiencing both. I have been doing a lot of research into the nature of romantic relationships lately and have discovered some very interesting points to think about. There is a woman named Pat Allen, who I was introduced to first by Marianne Williamson and then further still by Mastin Kipp from The Daily Love. She is a relationship expert with decades of experience teaching and working with couples of all sexual orientation over her lifetime. Pat states that all men and women have either a masculine or a feminine core, essence or preferred state of being. Some women can be more masculine and men can be more feminine. This also works equally within gay, lesbian and transgender relationships just as much as it applies to heterosexuals. She also says that a man’s (or masculine woman’s) basic core desire is to be respected for his thoughts and a woman’s (or feminine man) basic core desire is to be cherished for her feelings and emotions.

The basic idea is that in a relationship there has to be an agreement, not necessarily spoken but an energetic contract that states that one partner will be the Masculine, more dominant figure and the other will take on the role of Feminine, more receptive. Mastin says that one person must be the driver and the other must be the passenger. We all know what happens when there are too many drivers in the car trying to steer, things can get pretty stressful!

What was interesting to me was that in our modern age, where women are becoming more and more successful in business, many women who have a feminine core are living with a masculine mask on. This works in their business and they are hugely successful as a result because business is action- oriented, but when it comes to coming home to their loved one at the end of the day, this same energy will not create a happy and healthy relationship, unless your partner is feminine. And many of these women, feminine to their core, feel deprived of the nurturing, supportive, strong male presence they feel they need because they are attracting feminine men!

It’s just all so fascinating to me!

There is no right or wrong way to be or relate to others and there is no right or wrong way to be romantic. I have just had a bit of an ‘ah ha’ moment recently about the whole thing and why I have been attracting the men I have been attracting and getting myself in to situations that weren’t fully aligned with who I am and what I want for my life.

To the outside world I can be very good at wearing a masculine mask, but my essence is feminine. I realised that as a younger woman and teenager I believed that romance had a lot to do with power struggles and control and not a lot to do with trust and balance. I attracted men who were attracted to my strength or to my femininity and if they were masculine I would not give them the space to be masculine because I was afraid and if they were more feminine I would try to make them more masculine! Lol!

I think it was a lot to do with a fear of commitment and true intimacy. Having worked on loving and accepting myself and feeling safe in my Divine Femininity, I am now happy to attract a partner with a masculine core and someone who wants to be committed to one person.

If someone is dancing the cha-cha and you are dancing the tango, it’s not going to work. Some people believe in monogamy, others don’t. Be true to you! Don’t try and fit yourself into a non-monogamous relationship and lose yourself in the process just because you want to be with someone. I know it’s not always a simple as that but you will forever be in pain because we cannot change anyone and it’s not our job to either. Take it from someone who knows!

So I dance the tango and I am feminine. I need my Goddess time and I also enjoy being a fire-starter in my healing and teaching work. You CAN have it all but, keeping your foot on the gas pedal all of the time won’t get you there. We all need to let things come to us.

I believe this work can help many of us get very clear on what we wish to attract, knowing that when we do and we are completely honest with ourselves the universe will bring us our most compatible match. It may not always be a walk in the park but true growth and loving depth come from a sustained commitment.

I for one will not be wasting anymore energy trying to change people who just don’t dance the same dance as me! I send them Love and await my very own dance partner so we can flow through life, respecting from my end and cherishing from his.

I am grateful for everyone who has helped me to learn this, thank you and I love you <3

I hope this blog will help you to gain some clarity about what you want so you can become it and attract it with effortless ease. You deserve love and it’s so possible!


Jennifer <3


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