Fat. This is probably the most common among women, and one of the most detrimental ways to sabotage yourself—especially if you’re trying to get fit! Do you want a better way to come to grips with reality when you’re trying to shed some pounds? Say that you have excess fat rather than you are fat, and follow it up by saying but that’s going to change! You are not fat itself—you are a human being–bright, lovely, and capable of change if that is what you want to do!
Ugly. Whether or not the literal word comes to your mind when you’re looking in the mirror, many of our negative self-talk words are associated with words like ugly—dark circles, spots, unwanted hair—society has jammed it into your head that if you have flaws on your face, you’re ugly. Try this: Instead of zeroing on the little things you don’t like about your face, state out loud the things you do like about your face. Notice how much more beautiful you appear after building yourself up with positive self-talk!
Old. In some cultures (and it ought to be all cultures), being old is considered an honor, but the media would have you think otherwise. Anti-aging products thrive because women have been taught to believe that looking old is a bad thing. Wrinkles and grey hair ought to be celebrated—you’ve lived, you’ve experienced milestones—you deserve respect, and yes, you are beautiful! It would be something if we could turn the concept of being old into something wonderful and beautiful rather than something to hide from society.
Worthless. Again, it might not be the literal word that comes to mind when you’re engaged in self-berating, but that feeling of smallness you get when you have fallen short of yours or others expectations of you is in the realm of worthlessness. Does any of the following sound familiar? Why do I even bother? I’m just not good enough. I’m just not smart enough. I’d love to do something like that, but I know it will never happen. STOP… just stop! The old saying remains true: whether you say you can or you can’t, you’re right!
Stupid. I chat quite a bit with a particular woman on my cell phone contact list and I swear, every third text message she sends me contains the phrase I’m so stupid. Whether you’re kidding or not, claiming stupidity for silly every-day mistakes is harmful to your self-esteem. Harmful words like this wiggle their way into your psyche and they will manifest themselves in your life in very real ways. Do not incorporate that word into your self-talk vocabulary! Love yourself enough to choose another word. If you make a mistake or forget to do something, it isn’t because you’re stupid—it likely isn’t even because you’re absent-minded, or whatever other excuse comes to mind. It is probably because your mind was focused on other things—your job, your hobby, your kids/family, etc. Think about what you handle every day! Clearly you are not stupid, and letting something on the schedule slip your mind is not grounds for calling yourself stupid. Focus on words that build you up rather than tear you down–you owe it to yourself!
Are you guilty of calling yourself any of the above? What kind of negative self-talk slips into your thoughts? Let me know in the comments!
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