In this day and age you would think that equality is an absolute must however this is not the case!
The disillusion that women have equal rights to men is extremely underestimated, and this is something which most women encounter however rarely react.
How do women deal with the confrontation and domination of some men who feel inferior or inadequate?
During 12 years in the senior corporate world I have encountered this in both jobs. Becoming a mother was even more challenging, the perception is that male colleagues can dedicate more time and be more committed to their jobs than women with children. I remember the pressure of returning to work after having my daughter, the feeling of having to prove that I was adequate to maintain a family life and be good at my job.
The fact was that my children and family were my priority and actually it was more myself attempting to prove that I could cope.
The issue for me me arose more when the weaker men seen me as an easy target or less challenging on boardroom decisions. The feeling of isolation and vulnerability were unbearable. I didn’t want to be involved with male banter nor listen to their latest conquest with a female. I simply wanted to do my job and go home.
I was regularly isolated and made to feel unwanted at most meetings and events, and when my boss decided he was unhappily married and would like more from me, pushed the situation beyond tolerable!
I am a strong individual with a strong mind however this particular situation left me broken and confused. I lost my confidence and above all else my marriage hit the rocks. I was afraid to discuss this situation at home, afraid to be seen as encouraging this behaviour or as the instigator. Also as the main income for my family, was afraid of losing my job.
I had such little confidence that I believed I was no longer good in my job, and the fear I felt just going to work every day pushed me to diazepam daily.
Eventually with what little strength I had left I went through the correct procedure of grievance. This was directly between me and my boss, a case of one against one – the lies and cover up stories were actually ridiculous!
I fought the whole way, which again took over my life completely. More misery and lack of confidence and male colleagues would sit on the fence for fear of their own jobs. Frustration and anger set in and the strength which I gained I have no idea where it came from!
Looking back now, I needed to see it through, I needed to keep my dignity and above all prevent any other female from ever enduring this behaviour. Being blonde and having boobs does not mean inadequacy nor a good time girl!
The result………… I kept my dignity, proved my worth, and found a new job!
That individual was seen to be incompetent shortly after my departure. He now works in manual labour, funny when 6 months later his CV appeared on my desk from a recruitment agency…..! My inner anger wanted to invite him for a gruelling interview to then tell him no! My brain however said he was not worth the time or energy.
The CV went in the bin, I finished work that day an hour early, walked through the door at home and sat with my children cuddled on the sofa talking about their day, with laughter, giggles and love!
Now I can honestly say the experience was awful, but what I learnt was priceless.
……And yes…..women can do both, and Karma……it felt great!