A network for women by women



Why are women always being shamed?

*DISCLAIMER* Again, not trying to man bash, some of the most important people in my life are men, my dad, my brother, one of my best friends in the world and there are men I admire, but stuff like this just gets on my nerves.

There is so much I want to write about here and there have been so many examples of what I want to talk about in the press lately, so here goes…

Women being shamed. Mostly for doing something completely normal, or for just daring to be a little bit controversial, why are we expected to apologise all the goddam time?

First example: Swearing. I’m a big swearer, so maybe I’m a bit biased. Although I know it’s not big or clever, it’s just part of my vocabulary. I know where and when it’s appropriate though, for instance you wouldn’t catch me swearing in front or my grandparents, or at work and in fact, I make a conscious effort to not swear at people in anger. But my friends swear, my parents and brother both swear, so I’m very used to it and it has to be very colourful to shock me. I just think it’s a persons choice to speak how they want to and it is ALWAYS seen as more shocking if you hear a woman swearing over hearing a man swear.

What annoyed me in the press regarding this is the beautiful Helen Mirren when she recently made a speech at Glamour Magazine’s Women of the Year awards. Talking about getting older, she said,

“40 is good, 50 is great. 60 is fab and 70 is fucking awesome.”

It was received well in the room, with deafening cheers, but one ignorant journalist from the Daily Mail, who wasn’t even there may I add, said this made her sound like ‘An uneducated trollop’. Completely insulting her and undermining the fact that she was stood there looking absolutely stunning, with every women in the room being mostly younger than her, yet she was the one everyone wanted to be, he completely dismissed the fact she was making a great statement, that growing older is great, rather than the usual ‘getting older is awful’. So what if she swore? He said, “The more girls swear, the less they will be respected, how can that be good for women?” Oh come on now. If a women is passionate about something and uses a swear word to highlight her point, she should be able to, without a fella bombarding us with his Victorian views. Step out of your cave pal and get into the modern world. Take her speech for what it was; a damn good point of view.

Second example: Women being sexual. Now believe it or not, women have sex. Yeah that’s right, with men and other women. Men have sex with women, but if there is ever anything in the news regarding a woman’s sex life, she is labelled a ‘slut’. Lets use Jennifer Lawrence’s nudes being leaked as an example here. I haven’t seen them and I wont ever see them, because they were never intended for the world to see. They were between herself and her long term boyfriend, with whom she was in a long distance relationship. Yet her device was hacked and now they are out there for everyone to see and people are saying it’s her own fault for taking them. Well no, I do not agree. They were her business, so why is she being shamed for being sexual? I have so much respect for her, for not apologising; she doesn’t have anything to apologise for, her naked pictures are not the hurdle to feminism, the people that leaked them are.

Final example (for now!): Mothers. This is one I can’t relate to on a personal level as I don’t have children and to be honest, have no desire to ever have any (which I have been told doesn’t make me a ‘real woman’, but that’s a whole other rant!) but mothers in the public eye don’t half take some stick. The difference in the way mums are portrayed as appose to fathers is disgraceful. Singer Lily Allen was recently slagged of in the press for being pictured in a car with Coldplay’s Chris Martin at 2am, going home from a Halloween party. The way the tabloids reported it was from the angle that she was a bad mother, because she has two kids at home and she was out partying. Funny thing is, Chris Martin also has two kids at home, yet nothing, absolutely nothing was said about him being out in the early hours. It’s these double standards that I have a major problem with. Are mothers not allowed a night out? It’s a ridiculous point of view if you ask me.

There are more examples I could talk about; female authors having to just put their initials so they are not instantly written off by publishers and lets not get me started on the recent ‘fat shaming’ of Gemma Collins, which I find disgusting.

I’m not asking for sympathy for women as I don’t think we are oppressed anymore, just look around you at the powerful women in your life, the women you read about and the women you look up to for proof of that. But I don’t think we are quite out of the woods yet. Inequality is still rife and we are just expected to sit down and shut up, because we have it better than we would have in the past. Well no, I will take on any bloke who dares to ever shame me and that’s a bloody promise!


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