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Why Winter Kicks Ass

Most people are now mourning the loss of summer, wearing June’s frayed shorts and applying copious amounts of fake tan in order to preserve the desperate dregs of hot weather. Summer can be awesome, and it was awesome. We had the trips the beach, the ice creams melting over our hands, the brown skin smelling of sweet sun cream, the light-weight clothes and the chance to show off the body we’d been working for all spring (not me personally but, y’know, people). But that’s finished. Get over it. Winter’s on it’s way to show you why hot weather is for losers. 

Summer makes you sweaty. It makes you unable to wear certain colours if you want to do something vaguely strenuous, so you don’t have to hide your gigantic sweat patches. It makes you too hot; you don’t have to worry about heat stroke or sun burn in the winter, no siree. It limits your wardrobe to flimsy little dresses and crop tops and shorts that looked way better on the mannequin. The weather fluctuates too much, meaning you could end up freezing in a playsuit and a cardie. With winter, you know you’re gonna be freezing regardless! You get sand in your shoes and hit in the head by a volleyball while frolicking on the beach. You can frolic in the winter, only the beach is empty because nobody else is risking getting washed out to see by the massive churning tide. All to yourself! Plus the sand is too wet and muddy to get in your shoes! The food is more hearty in the winter, you spend more time with your family because you’re forced to stay inside, and you can spend all your money on presents for them too! What’s not to love?

So I say bring on the drizzly weather and warm, wooly coats, the steaming bowls of soup in bright red hands, the snowflakes on tongues and the tongues stuck to lampposts, the practical clothes and the huddling hugs and the christmas cheer. Summer was fun but it’s got nothing on winter. Winter could kick summer’s ass.

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