Having recently read a great blog post recently about the things a father should teach his son I thought about what I want my daughter to know about getting older and the long path to becoming a woman. So here is my list:
Love yourself, there is no better feeling. It won’t always be possible but you have to try.
Boobs! EEK. You will never be happy with them big or small so there really is no point worrying about them. They are what the are and they will always be just fine.
Set your own fashion, don’t follow the crowd. Being individual sets you apart and reminds you who you are every day. Plus the latest crazes aren’t always something you want to be photo’d in!
Your first kiss will always be special but it won’t be like the movies so don’t expect it to be. It will most likely be a little bit icky and probably embarrassing but there always has to be a first so choose the boy sensibly.
You are likely to marry a man like your Dad so see you childhood as a research project. Learn what makes him tick and how to handle him. Use you mum as a kind of Jedi master and mimic her skills of persuasion and man handling techniques. If you do this then by the time you marry you can hit the ground running like the Jedi wife you will be.
See boys as friends and equals first and as love interests second. There is nothing better that have boy friends rather then always being a boyfriend. And don’t worry if you only ever have boys as friends, love comes in many different forms. Respect and happiness is more important than gender and background.
Respect other women. Learn the unwritten code. If you wouldn’t want them to do it to you, don’t do it to them.
12 times every year you will not be able to understand yourself; don’t try, it isn’t worth the extra stress of trying to figure out whether you are happy, sad or angry. Just roll with it and after a few days you will feel normal again.
When you are a woman you don’t need to be amazing at everything. Sometimes you can be nothing at all except ‘YOU’. Don’t try to be the ‘best’ wife, mum, salary earner, friend or house keeper because by trying to be the ‘best’ at all of them, you will find that you fail at most. If you want to be everything, learn your limits and accept them. That way you can’t fail and can just ‘be’.
Natural is beautiful. If you hide behind a mask you obscure the true you. Nothing is more beautiful that a true reflection of who you are.
There will always be that boy you like who will never notice you even exist. Don’t waste time making yourself into the kind of girls he likes. If he doesn’t like you when you are being you then it would never work out.
Being in love is wonderful, amazing and a fact of life but don’t let it take over. Never let it change you and more importantly never let it come between you and your friends. There will always be another boy but you can’t replace true friends quite so easily.
Always be friends with your mum. She knows what it is like to be you. She has cried at the things you cry at, she has been hurt by the things that hurt you and she still has those times when the world is just one bug ball of confusion. So reach out to her at those times because she can help you, you just have to trust her.
Dads are like a big talking security blanket. They will love you and protect you for as long as you need them too; which will always be longer than you want them too so let them. You are his little princess and you always will be. Don’t push him away when you think you don’t need him anymore. There will never be a time when you don’t need them, always remember that.
Girls can be horrible creatures. They can be jealous, spiteful, vindictive and nasty. Don’t be one of those girls. Don’t ever make another girl feel sad. ALWAYS think about how things make you feel.
Follow your dreams and I mean your REAL dreams, not the ones you think should be your dreams. You can only ever be truly happy if you are open and honest with yourself and become what you always wanted to become. You never want to regret not being you.
There will always be people who don’t like you and that is OK. If you can get this at a young age your life will be so much simpler. Just remember, you don’t like everyone so don’t expect everyone to like you.
The higher the heels the harder it is to walk and the further it is to fall. If you can’t balance properly on them don’t wear them. Some women are born with the ‘I can walk normally on any height heel’ gene. I don’t have it and you may not either. It doesn’t mean you have failed but if you don’t recognise the fact that you don’t have it you will experience many epic fails!
Dress for your shape, not your friend’s. Girls grow up in all different shapes and sizes. Stay healthy and look after yourself. The perfect body is a myth but you can dress your body perfectly if you dress for you. Less on show adds mystery, clothes that fit properly ooze elegance and it is easy to turn heads in jeans and a t-shirt if the jeans and t-shirt are the right size for you.
It isn’t a man’s world anymore but men do live in it. Just like you they need help and support growing up. If a man can do something better, let him do it. If a man wants to help you carry something, let him do it. A man can be chivalrous without being chauvinistic, there is a huge difference.
If a man wants to look after you then let him just as long as he lets you look after him too. x