A network for women by women



The Day You Find Out Why

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.”

-Mark Twain

I don’t know why I was put on this earth. I have to think it was for a special reason. Everyone is on this earth for a reason. Whether they save humanity, save their best friend, or save themselves, they were written into the story of time on a unique page that time could not possibly continue without.

We are all small, but in our smallness we are great. We are nothing to the universe, but we create families and friends and minds that cannot let us exist without a greater purpose.

I have not discovered my purpose yet. Maybe I am going to change the world. Maybe I’m just going to know every single Doctor Who quote and Harry Potter fun fact my mind can hold. Both of those would be an enormous feat. But there’s a reason I’m here. And I’ll be damned if I don’t try my best to find it.

Complacency is for the fulfilled. For those who have already discovered their purpose. I am not finished; my future is not yet realized. I look at who I am today and I know, I just know, I am not complete.

I plan too much. I plan for the future, every last detail, and along the way I get stuck in the mundane, appeased for the moment because I believe that somewhere in the future I will find the extraordinary reason for my existence. Well, my future is now. To the ends of the earth I should be running to find why I’m here. But instead I sit here behind my computer screen, convinced that one day a man in a bow tie will knock and my window and say “Now is the time” like he does in every fantasy world.

Do you know what?

I’ve spent my whole life waiting. All of it, wrapped up in one big waiting-game. Waiting for a hand to hold, waiting to grow up, waiting for my dad to come back, waiting for the perfect job, waiting for love, waiting for life to start, waiting to leave, waiting to return, waiting to begin, waiting to end, waiting, waiting, waiting.

“I’m just waiting” is the most depressing phrase in the universe. The waiting have replaced the living.

Well, my bow tie man is knocking. And he’s saying “Go. That’s it, go on. By yourself, if you must. You might be scared now. I see the fear in your eyes. But don’t worry. You must plunge into the unknown to truly know what intricacies lie inside you.

You feel special. You are. You see the details, you see the specificities. You understand you are meant for something greater. And you will not stop until you have found it. You have been waiting for so long, dear. It is time to stop. No one is going to come and pull you by the hand. No one is going to get down on one knee, confess his love, and ask you to accompany him on a life full of adventure. It’s time to take control of your own destiny. Go make your own adventure. You can do it. Your bag is packed; you’ve been waiting for an old wizard to send you on your way. Pick up that bag, sling it across your back, and go. No more waiting. You are more, and the world will increase that ten fold. You will see the earth and you will know why you’re here.”

No hand to hold, no life jacket to pop me back up, no escape route. I’m going to find out why. I’m going, going, gone.


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