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Tests, values and levels of friendship

Friends are really amazing and to me, they really are like stars. To have real friends is a pure blessing that people shouldn’t take for granted.

There are friends that you have known so long that you know them inside out, no matter how much they change and you have lived your best moments with them. They are your comfort and your honest friends. Friends that aren’t afraid to tell you that you look hideous wearing that lipstick.

Knowing someone for a long time of course is a bonus in friendships, because you have so much time to build up a relationship with them. However, length of time measures no friendship. You could meet a new friend and they could be better to you than any of your other friends ever were over the years. Or, you could have been friends with someone pretty much all of your life, to realise they never were much of a friend at all, or that you both have changed so much that you just don’t belong anymore. Friends; they come and go over the years and in reality, there’s only a few that will stay with you throughout your life. The ones that stay, well that’s got to mean something right?

Distance of course is a measure of friendship. When I left school, my close friends and I promised to stay in touch and stay close. That was the real test, when those you thought would make the effort never did and it’s a shame that friendships drift. I miss my old friends and all the fun we had, but things, I suppose, just weren’t meant to be.

Another test in friendship is emotional turmoil. Many say that true friends should know when you’re upset and be there for you. In reality, that’s impossible. We are not psychic, we live busy lives and we don’t see each other as often, so the only way we’d know if a friend needed some help is if we see them post something and even then, they may not want to talk to anybody. The real saying here is that if you were a true friend, you’d have friends approaching you explaining how upset they are, unless they’d rather not talk about it. You don’t need to text someone saying ‘what’s wrong?’ to prove you’re a good friend, you just need to be there if and when they come to you, simple as.

This test of friendship rules out friends that were only acquaintances to you. You’ll get so many of these over the years and lose pretty much all of them, especially when you’re young. These are the ‘friends’ that are only there for the good times. Just like a pair of sparkly stilettos. Of course, they are your necessity for going to a party and without them your night just wouldn’t be the same, but they’ll hurt you. They wont be there for you when your ankles break. This is when you got to ask yourself, are they worth it?

Friends are our sanities and our realities and they are the breaks we often need in our busy lives.

 

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