RIGHT hello ladies.
I originally was not going to write about the following mainly due to that fact my blog is powered through my Facebook and I didn’t want to create a ‘drama’.
However I am still somewhat enraged, and spurred on by a glass of much needed Chardonnay and some dubious dodgy 90s music (Aqua anyone?) I thought women make waves would be a much better place to post as I am sure some of you, if not all have sadly experienced this.
So firstly I want to point out the fact I am 23. Secondly this has been happening to me since I have been 15 but it is only now, have I come to the conclusion how totally wrong it really is (slow learner, don’t judge me.) And the ‘it’ in question? Well classic sexual inappropriateness of course.
Let’s rewind 2 weeks ago. Standard Friday, work drinks, long week, tight deadline and a bit too many glasses of wine during happy hour. Looking at my watch I realised I needed to catch the last tube so like Cinderella I happily went on my usual commute home. However I do not remember the dodgy guy that tried to massage Cinderella’s back while she tipsily sat on the Jubilee Line. My slight inebriation meant my defenses were down but ‘luckily’ I caught the eye of the preppy clean cut fella opposite. He told me to quickly jump off the tube at the next stop and he would make sure Mr Touchy Feely wouldn’t follow. So I did. And as we stood on the platform watching my former masseuse go past, my kind savior then decided it was time to put his tongue down my throat. After I pushed him away with a number of expletives his mere response “well I thought you wanted it with me.”
Let’s fast forward on to work drinks. Someone bumps into me and spills a bit of vodka down my arm. I laugh and wipe it off . 2 colleagues, whom I thought were friends, both male whispered “I bet that’s not the first time she’s had bodily fluids on her”. They then begin to talk about my blog and how it’s probably all about me shagging every man in sight. Stupidly this was all in earshot of a very close friend of mine who proceeded to relay the details back to me. (Also clearly they had never read it as it mainly details useless dates and trips to gay clubs dancing to Cher.)
And instead of causing a HR drama I have kept it to myself apart from sending the odd side eye in the lift. Nevertheless I still went home and actually cried to my mother that grown men (one in his 40s) could cause me to feel so DIRTY.
Now I am used to cat calls, and whistles from your white van men. But whilst I watch my 13 year old sister start to grow up I can’t help but think when has this been accepted as ok?
I used to think that because I wore make up or short skirts from time to time I should expect it. But the fact I am an adult and still getting regarded as some sort of sex object- well it pisses me off. During a trip to Egypt with an ex boyfriend 2 years ago the captain of the boat we were on put his hands down the front of my bikini bottoms whilst he was teaching me to snorkel. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to drown… or cause a scene once back on land.
Do we think men will ever learn?? And will I ever be strong enough to say hey matey- that’s not cool.
My Spotify has now moved on to Lady Marmalade. Awkward.