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To smoke or not to smoke

Addiction; what is it?

Addiction can come in many forms, such as drink, drugs and gambling, but the one that has got me hooked is nicotine, aka smoking. It’s not just the nicotine that’s addictive it’s also the habit itself. The holding of the fag and twiddling your fingers or making rings out of the smoke. No matter how many times you see or hear that it’s bad for you, it never really stops you. I have tried giving up before and managed for about three months and then I lost my job, which made me instantly pick it up again. It’s not an excuse, but it also does not help.

Smoking seems to be the one constant thing in my life right now and I don’t even really enjoy it that much, but I like the dizzy head feeling it gives me, just like alcohol used to when I was drinking every day. I Know the damage it is doing but to me it’s a way of slowly killing myself without anyone noticing, well, it used to be when I first started, now it’s just a habit, which if I’m totally honest, I don’t want to break.

I know one day I will quit for good, probably when I want children or meet someone who doesn’t like the smoking, but as for myself, I really don’t care anymore. Just because it’s gone out of fashion doesn’t mean that there isn’t still a hell of a lot of people that smoke. Also, those people that say they are only ‘social smokers’ are lying to themselves, as most social smokers end up smoking full time, as I did.

The downside to smoking is the obvious harm to your lungs but also the smell and lack of taste, but after you have been smoking for nearly two years you don’t even think about that anymore. The worst thing about my habit is that I use it as a crutch; whenever I am stressed or upset I go straight to smoking.

The last thing I will say on this matter is that if you want to quit, you can only do it on your own terms, not because someone wants you to. You need to want to quit for yourself, if not there is more chance that you will relapse.

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