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Slugs and snails – the best bits about boys!

If, like me, you often stand gazing at pink dresses, sparkly hair bobbles and colouring books whilst your sons scream for the transformers aisle, then you’ll understand how easy it is to forget how wonderful boys can be. So, to help us all remember how great it is to have just sons, here’s a few reasons why boys rock:

1) You get to witness the development of one of the closest human bonds there is; brotherhood. I’ll always remember a photograph I saw of two brothers walking in the woods, both wearing superhero costumes. Underneath, the caption read, ‘Sometimes, being a brother is even better than being a superhero.’ Enough said.

2) They ask hilarious questions daily, stretching your ability to give parental wisdom to exponential levels. For example:

‘Who is stronger? Hulk or Superman?’
‘What is slimier? Ear wax or bogeys?’
‘What would you prefer; a hamster-sized rhinoceros or a rhinoceros-sized hamster?

3) They’ll never turn into teenage girls. Having been one myself, I know just how awful they can be.

4) You’ll probably get more cuddles. Scientists have discovered that boys express themselves much more physically than girls. This probably means that you’ll have to do your fair share of wrestling but, when your boy wants to show you that he needs you, he’ll do it through touch. This means lots of wonderful cuddles for you, as well as warmth and security for him.

5) At some point they will want to marry you.

6) Their sheer abundance of energy will force you out of the house, even on the most miserable of days. You may start the day looking out at the grim weather and envisioning a quiet day inside, in the warm, snuggling with your little chaps. After half an hour of roaring competitions, however, the rainy park suddenly becomes a very attractive option. Once you’re out, of course, you realise how refreshing it is in the open air and you end up enjoying yourself, despite the weather!

7) They will always find farts funny. Also on the list of uproarious things are their willies and the words poo, pants, wee and boobies. You may feign disapproval at these wicked profanities, but their endless giggles will melt your heart.

8) According to child psychologists, boys form much simpler friendships than girls. So you’ll be spared from trying to remember with whom he is no longer friends, not currently talking to, never speaking to again or has just made up with.

9) You can persuade (trick) them into doing almost anything by turning it into a race, or pretending that they are a really fast animal who just loves picking up smelly socks and throwing them in the wash basket.

10) Fewer crevices during nappy changes.

11) You will find bizarre and eclectic collections around the house, funny shaped stones, sticks, shells and for some reason, small crumpled up bits of paper. You will also find yourself amazed at how far they are willing to carry said stone or stick whilst out on a walk.

12) You will learn more about different species of animals, names of dinosaurs, the definitions of tractor parts or aviation technology than you ever did at school.

13) They can wee standing up, anywhere! (Conveniently forget that wee will also get everywhere from toilet training until… early teens?)

14) They have a genuine excuse for not listening. Studies have shown that boys have less sensitive hearing than girls, from birth. Girls’ hearing is much more sensitive to speech patterns than boys, so when he says he didn’t hear you, he may be telling the truth! If this is a constant issue for you, a good tip is to touch your son when you’re talking to him, on the shoulder or the hand for example.

15) They love sticks. A good stick can keep them playing quietly for ages. They’re free and you can chuck them in the garden when he’s done with them!

16) If you have just boys, then you can enjoy being the one and only, adored, female in the house (well, until they start dating anyway) When they play at being knights, you’re always the princess. A boy will always need his mummy, with studies showing that men who lack a strong maternal connection may be more likely to be aggressive or destructive. What a perfect excuse to give him another cuddle!

17) Tradition dictates that… you won’t have to pay for any weddings!

18) Perhaps the best thing about having a son is that you’ll get to watch him grow into a man. You have the opportunity, along the way, to help him become strong and loyal, respectful to women and good at ironing. One day you’ll look up at a son that’s (most likely) taller than you and who you can be proud of. Apparently, there’s nothing more magical than being kissed on the forehead by your fully grown son. I have yet to experience this one myself, but I sure am looking forward to it!


  • thehearns@ntlworld.com says:

    I love this piece. I have two grandsons and would love to have a granddaughter (maybe one day). But this reminds me how lucky I am to have two loving grandsons that I get lots of loving hugs from.

  • Alice Vinten Alice Vinten says:

    Thanks Anna Nolan! 😉

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