Religiously, sex is seen to be immoral, disgusting and something to be completely and absolutely shamed of.
Sex, again like Money (another taboo subject for most) is something that everyone has and yet we feel disgusted and do not want to talk about it simply because, well, it’s not ‘cool’ to talk about it. We should silently want it, but when it comes to an open discussion, it is absolute perversion.
What gives ?
Most religions I have studied showcase sex as some sort of ‘absolute shame’ until unless you are married and are trying to conceive from it. And the indoctrination seems to start young (especially for women!).
“Don’t have sex before you’re married”
“Don’t sleep around with men, you will be called a whore.”
“Good girls don’t have sex”
“The man won’t respect you once you have sex with him”
“If he isn’t your husband, why are you sleeping with him?!”
“Good, respectable and honourable women do not have sex”
“What will people think if they find out that you had sex and you weren’t married?!”
I have heard this from women of ALL religions. All races. All faiths. All creeds and colours. Women are literally shamed out of sex because we lose our social standing and position if we actually admit to even liking sex let alone wanting it. Sex is something a man does to a woman. You just sort of lie there and let him come and then act like nothing ever happened. God forbid, you actually ride the guy and come three times! No, stuff like that is just meant for prostitutes, whores, sluts and immoral women. Who would want to marry them anyway?
And yet here is crux of the situation. No matter how reserved, quiet or shy the woman, she craves and desires sex just like the one who is outspoken about it. Sex is a very tough subject for women because we cannot be sexual and be liked by society at the same time. I know people who have demonised me for openly speaking on sex and loving it. I’d be damned if anything or anyone shamed me out of a good session. But it also took me a long time to accept my body not as something that I should butcher into body parts like the media loves doing (Oh, my boobs are too small, my back isn’t curved out enough and I need a flatter belly type of thing) but to actually say, “God created me perfect. Devoid of religion, indoctrination and any social conditioning. As long as I am in healthy shape, I am JUST fine”.
Can you imagine how many companies would go out of business if women were socially accepted as LOVING sex? It is the Madonna-Whore complex. You cannot be a lady and a wildcat at the same time. It isn’t possible. You’re either the prim and proper lady or the nasty, slutty wildcat that men just use for sex. As much as I love having sex, I am respectful of my body which means I control who sleeps with me. Not the other way around. My body doesn’t belong to a man, it belongs to me and I make the decision of who gets the honour of laying next to me.
I’ve known both men and women absolutely disgusted when I’ve spoken about sex. Sex is gorgeous and healthy as is the desire for it, like wanting a glass of water when you’re thirsty and food when you’re hungry. It’s NORMAL and expected. And yet, we are constantly shamed out of sex because women fear societal repercussions.
We may own our bodies, however the indoctrination has stolen our minds.
Ladies, steal them back. They are YOURS.