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Rabbit Holes & SmartPhone Zombies

I have had a lot of strange things happening to me, but some things sure take the price. What would you say if I said that I dropped my iPhone… into a rabbit hole?

For so long I managed to avoid the curse of the SmartPhone. All my friends had iPhones, Android phones and other phones that were a lot smarter than most of them together, and everytime we went out they would sit there with their phones in their faces while trying to maintain a conversation in the same time… everyone but me. I had one of those riddiculously cheap phones that are only really good for calling and texting, one of those phones that are sold at gas stations, and that you can buy for 20 bucks or less… at least back when I bought mine. It was a crappy phone, if I may say so, but it served me well. People would ask me how come I hadn’t upgraded to a phone a little bit more… modern… or “21st Century appropriate” as someone so nicely chose to put it. The simple answer to that question was this: I didn’t want a SmartPhone. I had seen what it did to my friends and to our mutual social life, which was not something that I wanted to contribute to. Besides – I had never had one, so I couldn’t possibly know what I was missing.

It stayed like that for a couple of years, but then I moved abroad. Suddenly my friends were all far away and I had to make a decision. Was it worth getting a better phone just so that I could stay in touch with them? It was. I went online and ordered the phone that I had secretly dreamed of – even though I had refused to admit it – and about a week later it arrived. An iPhone 4s. It would be a lie to say that I didn’t love it from the second I first held it in my hand and within days I had transformed to a SmartPhone Zombie – just like my friends. It served its purpose, however, and it became easier for us to keep in touch.

Yes, I loved my new phone, and all of a sudden it was dificult to imagine a life without it. How had I managed without a SmartPhone for so long? That’s when it happened. I took my dog out for a walk one morning and I decided to take her to a dog park on the other side of town. “I am such an awesome dog mama,” I thought, and I felt good about myself as we walked the extra mile for my dog to have a fun morning run. We got there and I let her off the leash. Now, my dog is usually an excellent off-leash walker, but this time she took off into a big bush. “Great,” I thought, “she won’t be coming out anytime soon.” After calling for her without result I decided to go in and get her. It turned out to be easier than I expected and as soon as I got in I found her standing there as if she hadn’t even noticed or heard my calls. I bent over a little to put her leash back on… and guess what happened? I saw how my iPhone slipped out of my pocket — it was as if I watched it happen in slow-motion — and straight into a big hole in the ground. A rabbit hole. It didn’t take more than half a second before it was gone.


I wish I could say I acted mature when this happened, but I didn’t. I shouted “NO” as if the worst thing in the world had just happened (which it kind of had) and threw myself down on my knees to try and get it back. I reached into the hole – nothing. Tried digging – nothing. Used a long stick – nothing. I stayed for 2 hours basically trying to crawl down into the hole, but no matter how I tried I couldn’t find my phone. It was gone. After two hours I had to admit defeat. It wasn’t until then that I realised how horrible I looked; with mud and scratches covering my arms and legs.

All that for a phone I never found.

I went back 4 more times after that. One time with a friend and a flash-light, another couple of times alone and the 4th time with a shovel. A wonderful (and strong) friend of mine spent a good three hours digging up the hole to try and find my precious iPhone. It wasn’t there.

That was the ending to my story as a SmartPhone Zombie and owner. It only lasted for about 6 months and now I am back with my old and quite useless gas station cellphone. Such is life. What are the odds of me dropping my cellphone into the one rabbit hole that was in that bush? I mean; who does that? I bet most people think that I made it up. I even tried to google “I dropped my phone in a rabbit hole”. It came up blank with no hits. I suppose it doesn’t happen too often.

I used to look down on those SmartPhone Zombies, before I became one, but now I feel left out. I miss staring into the screen of my wonderful phone that is now burried somewhere deep down in the underground. I bet some pre-teen bunnies are using it to take rabbit hole selfies in this very moment.

Good for them. Awesome.


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