We were a tipsy, jovial group who shimmied, shook and whipped our hair around to hip hop beats. We were a half eaten cookie formation of fun but fifteen minutes later I’d be dancing alone, inhibited, while my friends would honour repeated requests to ‘body flirt’ with nearby men. I was almost always the only one who danced alone, because I was never approached by the guys. Welcome to the story of my life.
I pacified myself; telling the girl in the mirror that she was an acquired taste among men and their lack of interest has nothing to do with her appearance or weight. Sounds healthy right? But it so wasn’t because truth be told, I didn’t believe it for a second. In need of reassurance, I made an online dating profile complete with plenty of pictures of myself. I found my most attractive and photogenic images and went in for the kill.
I tell you, within minutes of creating my profile several men in my area were sending me messages beginning with “Hey beautiful” and “You’re so gorgeous”. I was getting so much attention that I couldn’t keep up, and now, almost a year later, I’m still online dating and enjoying an incredible amount of attention.
My self esteem has gotten a great boost from this experience. As a plus sized woman I often felt I got whatever was left over after the competition had thinned the herd, and I often took what I got whether he was a loser, emotionally unavailable, or anything else that comes under the bad prospect umbrella. Make no mistake, my self worth is chilling out on a nice cushy couch within me, but my external experiences were very discouraging. My online dating experience, however, has taught me that not only am I desirable, but that I should raise my standards, be more confident with men and to play the field to my advantage.
I have learnt, and accepted, that my attractiveness is not based on who approaches me on the street or in a bar and I may be an acquired taste, but online I’m pretty tasty and I guarantee you could be too.