Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment –Buddha
I’ve noticed something.
We never really appreciate the present moment. The past is a ghost that follows us and the uncertainty of our future is a fear in the back of everybody’s minds but what about now, this second, this minute, this hour and this day? Time is something that passes us by and we always take it for granted. I know I do. I realised the other day that I was so focused on where I was going and what I was going to do that I lost the feeling of now.
There are only twenty four hours in a day, but in that one day there are one thousand four hundred and forty four minutes and eighty six thousand four hundred seconds. Within that time many things can happen and many things can be achieved but I waste too much time. Sometimes, it takes the striking of midnight to make me realise that I haven’t made the most of my day.
I wake up in the morning and think, today will be different. Today I will start to the day with a session of yoga and then I will do some reading, write an article, play my guitar and then maybe go for a walk. It never turns out this way though. It’s the exact opposite in fact; I end up sitting in my pyjamas until one o’ clock in the afternoon watching day time television. It’s almost like I have given up, I’ve lost my motivation to do anything and I really hate feeling this way.
I spend too much of my time complaining about my financial situation and the lack of momentum in my writing career. However, instead of focusing on what I don’t have, I really should be focusing on what I do have. I have an amazing boyfriend that supports me and loves me. We’re in the same situation, not a lot of money, no job and no idea what our future holds but we have each other and we know that our luck will change soon; we just need to believe that. I have great friends. I have a nice home and a family that lives nearby, I have everything I need to keep me going. I’ve just finished university, I’ve spent the last three years studying and working hard so maybe I deserve the rest? The problem I have is I don’t like doing nothing, I have a restless energy, my mind is always thinking of what I need to do next, so having all of this free time is driving me crazy!
On a positive note, I have this job at Women Make Waves and I am insanely grateful for the opportunity, it has given me a voice and I love to read other women’s stories. I’m also writing my first novel and I am also putting together a poetry collection, so I have plenty of writing projects to keep me focused but that’s the hard part, staying focused. Writing on a daily basis fuels my ambitions to be successful but I always expect more for myself. I am always looking for other opportunities to better myself and figuring out ways that I can get on the career ladder I so badly want to be on. I’m a perfectionist and it can be really annoying!
Sometimes, it’s hard to be at home all day. On many occasions, I feel like I am on the outside looking in. I spend too much time on Facebook, that’s my problem. I see everybody else’s lives; my friends and family members and people my own age and I can’t help but feel bitter at the fact that they have more than I do. I wish I didn’t feel this way but sadly I do. I need to remind myself on a daily basis that life is a journey and everybody has a different path to take and a different way of reaching the goals they set for themselves.
I’ve started to think recently that maybe right now isn’t my time? Maybe I need to just drift from day to day and see what happens. I might be struggling right now but without struggle there is no success. Buddha says that we should try and concentrate the mind on the present moment, it’s easy to say it but harder to put it into practice but I’m going to try.
I want to try and think more positively, I want to try to focus on now, the past is long gone and the future is far away. All we have is right now because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so it’s definitely a great quote to live by. I’m going to try and focus on what I have rather than what I want, I’m going to accept the fact that my future will be whatever it is meant to be and I’m going to start living my life one day at a time…