I’m only eighteen, so maybe I don’t know what ‘real love’ is and maybe I don’t know what an ‘adult relationship’ is yet and maybe, just maybe I don’t know what a ‘proper job’ is but I am learning and guess what? It’s damn hard.
I have learned a few things though and it seems to me, that some people just can’t accept 5 main facts about relationships.
Every couple argues
Opening up to each other is hard sometimes, but it’s great. It’s a bonding experience and it’s kind of therapeutic to get everything off your chest. Don’t bottle things up as much as you wish to because people pick up on this and when you say the words “nothing’s wrong”, the people you care about know that everything is wrong and they can feel a bit upset that you don’t trust them enough to say how you feel. It could end badly, it could result in a stronger relationship and only time will tell but, as cliché as this is, everything will turn out for the best. Don’t just walk away when things get hard. I’ve made that mistake and I’m sure many of you have too and it’s something you will hate yourself for.
People come and go
“Everything is temporary”. Now this saying isn’t entirely true, I mean you could end up with someone for life, you could have an actual BFF and usually your family sticks by you through life. However, don’t cry over the people that leave. They leave for a reason. The sad truth is that the people you go out with you’re either going to end up with forever, or they’ll just be another ex. The sad truth is friends move on sometimes and that’s okay. You shouldn’t hate people for leaving. You shouldn’t feel inadequate. It’s just life… and that’s okay.
Nothing is perfect
STOP CHASING PERFECT! Why don’t people understand that perfect is non-existent? Everything has its flaws. A person without flaws is a person without character. A job without flaws is a job without the opportunity to feel like you’ve had a better day than the day before. There’s no such thing as a perfect person, a perfect job or a perfect life. You just have to embrace the good. Stop holding on to the bad stuff in life, compromise with yourself to settle for something great not something perfect, just try to realise, for your own sake, that you can find happiness in the small things, in the short moments, not the big picture.
It’s not always down to the man
Yes, it’s wonderful to be treated like a princess! It’s great to be taken out on dates and have little gifts waiting for you but what about equality? I’m a feminist, and no, that doesn’t mean man hater, it just means we deserve the same treatment. Treat your partner the way they treat you; take them out on dates, buy little surprises for them, be the big spoon in bed once in a while. They enjoy it just as much as you do. Love is a two way street.
It’s okay to love yourself
Don’t feel guilty about spoiling yourself. Don’t feel guilty about taking a selfie because you feel beautiful. Don’t feel guilty about eating a slice of cake. Loving yourself is massively important. It’s not true that if you don’t love yourself nobody will love you, but if you don’t love yourself you won’t believe that anyone can or does love you and that is a hard thing to cope with. If you don’t want to wear makeup, don’t. You are going to be beautiful in someone’s opinion; you are going to be someone’s everything. Love yourself and you will be happy whether you’re single or madly in love.
So there are my five key facts about life. Nothing is perfect, but it doesn’t stop it being great. I will never understand how life can be so painful and so beautiful simultaneously, but it is and we all have to learn that we can get over anything. We are all on our own paths and if you’re on a stormy one, switch direction.