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Love Lab


Mrs Transition

One of the biggest events in life, for a lot of people, is getting married. Marriage was always on my radar growing up and like a lot of girls, my wedding day was pretty much mapped out years ago. Everything was decided and designed; I just had the setback of no willing bloke to take it all on.

And yet, I now find myself weeks away from saying ‘I Do’.

Having planned our big day over the course of the last twelve months, I have become more aware of the symbolic nature of a wedding and less worried about the finer details. Of course I want the perfect dress, a gorgeous venue and delicious food for our nearest and dearest and I feel I have created the ideal day to start our married life together, but when I stare at our diminishing bank balance to pay the price of beauty, does any of it actually matter?

A wedding can cost thousands of pounds, or it can cost as little as you like, but the outcome is still the same. You are still husband and wife. And it’s the word ‘wife’ that has kept me more fascinated through my planning journey. I always knew I wanted my fiancé to be my husband one day. I just wasn’t sure I felt mature or settled enough to be someone’s ‘Mrs’. Maybe it’s something all women feel or maybe it’s just the symbolism of being someone’s wife and the very nature of it being a lifelong bond that can never be broken.

Or maybe it’s just selfish.

A wife, to me, always seemed old, juggling dirty laundry, a career and a lazy husband. In no way was I ready for all that, but after the last twelve months of planning, something has changed. I realise that 99% of the conversations I have with people at the moment are about our wedding. Are you all sorted? Is the guest list finalised? What food are you having? I appreciate it’s very exciting and it is a huge deal for me and the day itself will be beautiful; more than I ever dreamed, but the celebration isn’t the main event this year; it’s the transition. This transition is lost amongst the celebration. The celebration is the first day of the rest of our lives.

But nobody wants to talk about that. It’s not as exciting is it?

I have accepted and become to delight in the idea of being a wife. I will go from being a young, single female finding my way through life, love and work and become a family unit with another being to go on the journey together.

A wife now symbolises dedication, commitment and happiness to me and I will take on the role with gusto and pride.

So if we pick the right canapés, have floor fillers all night or make the perfect merlot our wine of choice, it’s all materialistic. Wedding planning shouldn’t turn someone into a ‘Bridezilla’ or have her sweating over table plans.

Do you think it should be whatever she chooses it to be, a happy celebration of love and a gateway to married life?

I do.


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