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From the Mouths of Men: Sex on the first date

It’s time for another instalment of ‘From the Mouths of Men’ and this week we are seeking their opinion on women who sleep with men on the first date, in response to Rebecca Irvine’s article Sex on the First Date. I must admit I missed this article when it was originally published, but when Becky suggested it might make an interesting topic for the column I couldn’t agree more and got straight to reading it. What a fantastic read!

My instinct would be to mutter ‘slapper’ whilst feeling all prim and proper myself (I’m not a prude, just have never had the nerve to sleep with someone on the first date!) but after reading this article my view, once again, changed. If we can easily believe in love at first sight, why is lust so forbidden? The article was an interesting read and I recommend you take a look. Yet again, the women at WMW have opened my eyes to another point of view!

Will our men’s unique perspective alter my stance however? Let’s find out as we seek words of wisdom ‘From the Mouths of Men’.

One sentence synopsis of the original article: Becky presents two balanced real life stories, one in which her friend luckily avoids a complete ‘knob’ by refusing to sleep with him on the first date, the other in which Becky gains a friend for life, despite having slept with him on the first date.

The feedback from the ladies: I slept with my partner on the first night we met – 7 years later and a daughter, it wasn’t too shabby lol.” 

From the Mouths of Men:

So once more I sussed out my hubby for his POV on this one. As we had not slept together on the first date I was sincerely hoping he would say he would disapprove of such shenanigans.

“I’d be disappointed,” he said. I was very pleased with his fatherly response, picturing him saying to our potential future daughter,

“I’m very disappointed in you young lady, nobody is going to buy the car if they can test drive it for free.”

Yet he went on to say, “Disappointed that they gave in so easily…the chase is part of the fun isn’t it?”

Hmm I’ll remember that the next time the old ‘headache’ excuse doesn’t work then.

But what say the rest of my man brains? I asked them their opinion on whether a woman should sleep with a man on the first date or not:

“If a woman is willing to sleep with someone on the first date then it’s up to her, not many guys would say no to that. Probably not someone I could commit to long term though”

Clearly this chap is the kind of sensible, yet undeniably mans man, who although respects his mothers opinion on whether she’s ‘a nice young girl’ isn’t daft enough to turn down a freebie.

Another lad seems to be of a similar opinion.

“I would have more respect for a woman who refused to sleep with me on the first date, bit that wouldn’t stop me trying to get her into bed.” 

A similar view from the next fella;

“Their call I would say, if that’s what they are looking for then why not? Probably not the best way to start anything meaningful but who’s to say and no one should judge regardless.”

 It seems most men are more than happy to take the candy off the plate but afterwards they won’t be placing a Haribo ring on your finger. This next guy however seems to be entirely more practical about the whole thing.

“Whatever floats your boat. So long as everyone’s consenting it’s a bit of a non-issue.”

Likewise from this lad;

“As long as they’re not drunk and they understand what they are doing and there are no bad intentions then I suppose it’s their decision.”

The general consensus from our man view though, seems to still be that in the long term, they don’t see a future with a girl that sleeps with them on the first date. Having said that the overarching judgement and stigma doesn’t seem to be what it once was.

As our final man commented, “It depends”. Now either that’s because, as an open minded man, he can appreciate both sides of the argument, or it’s code for saying “I didn’t sleep with my current girlfriend on the first date but hell yeah I think it’s a good idea!” (Or even worse, “I slept with my current girlfriend on the first date and I have no intention of marrying her!”) 

Whatever your opinion, or that of the man you are considering sleeping with, I couldn’t resist adding this quote I found whilst Googling the subject;

“Having sex on the first date is like reading the back page of a book before you’ve even started it.” 

Look out next week for further insights ‘From the Mouths of Men’.

Comments

  • This is great! Firstly it’s really interesting to get a man’s POV and secondly you’ve done a great job of the article full stop! To be honest it doesn’t surprise me that most men think it’s something that will mean no to a future! Generally speaking I agree! My main point in my article was that this isn’t always the case, it’s not set in stone and I think a few of the men’s responses have reinforced that point! Well done Hayley and keep up the column!!xx

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