A network for women by women

Interviews & Winners Love Lab

shutterstock_105035876

Where is Love?

Maybe I was born in the wrong generation, or maybe I simply don’t understand how relationships work nowadays, but for me, romantic love is on the verge of extinction.

I am fed up of looking at couples using their phones whilst walking around together instead of holding hands. They are more preoccupied about taking photos and posting where they are to show the world how happy they are. Where is the romance that we used to know? Where are the former passionate lovers who used to make love declarations utilising graffiti on the walls, those that would run to buy a bouquet of flowers- without second intentions- and would say long goodbyes? I have never seen lovers so unresponsive, indulgent, and egocentric as those of today. Before their first date they’re already looking at whether they have common interests on their facebook page, and the chances of continuing to go out increase considerably when they both have a smartphone with internet. Yes, because now nobody is prepared to spend money sending messages.

It seems as though nobody accepts the struggles of living a true passion and giving in to the craziness which Love encompasses. We’re living life only halfway, with the intent of not suffering wholly. After all, why should one devote oneself to another, when there is a wide possibility of choice? However, Love is not a choice. Love involves choosing who we love, not loving who you choose. Like Julio Cortazar expressed in his novel, “Beatrice is not chosen, and Julieta is not chosen either. You cannot choose when the rain will numb your bones as you leave a concert”.

Falling in love has been converted into a practical issue: an exchange of benefits and coexistence to make life feel happier and complete. I feel sorry for those who believe to be In Love and that their love is indestructible, and at the first obstacle they want to “discuss the relationship”. If we were to ask the reason for many couples being together, many wouldn’t know what to answer. After all, it was all so simple: living next to each other, knowing each other since always, his intelligence and her beauty, because they were good together and didn’t fight much. They’re together so that their miserable lives could turn their lives more tolerable, so that they can build something which individually they would have more difficulty, to have some company at old-age, because society is waiting for that moment in which they must get married… who knows!

Do you think we are all tired of looking for our soul mate and we make do with the “nearly”: the one which “nearly” could have been, the relationship which “nearly” could have worked? Where was it that we lost the splendour of loving another and actually looking for a relationship which would complement ourselves? Love is a battle, and although not all battles have a happy ending, Love is a battle which is worth the fight. Love requires work and dedication, as does progressing into a career, educating one’s children, and saving money to buy a house. To Love is essentially knowing that the relationship is not easy, but having the certainty that to give it up would be even more difficult.

Don’t excuse yourselves by saying that times have changed and that we cannot wait for the Love which exists in films. I believe in it, and I hope I’m not the only one, that true and romantic Love exists, and that we women deserve to live it entirely. Perfect people and relationships will never exist. Just like Noah (Ryan Gosling) said to Allie (Rachel McAdams), in The Notebook, after arguing and Allie ready to abandon the house “I won’t be easy. It will be very difficult. We need to work hard on this each day, but I want to do it because I want you. I want all of you, forever. You and me, every day”.

Comments

Leave a Reply