Love to me is like a dance, with both people in a tango with each other. One person takes a step back, the other a step forward. It’s a constant battle to get that tango just right. The hardest part is falling in love with your best friend and not knowing if they feel the same or if your feelings are just a reflection of your great friendship. That feeling when you first get a pang in your chest as the person hugs you for the first time and the way the scent of them lingers on you like your favourite perfume. The not knowing is the hardest part; you might go for months gathering these feelings, denying them to yourself and them. When you finally build up the courage to tell your best friend, the biggest fear is losing the friendship you have taken so long to build in the first place. If you don’t admit your feelings it will just eat you alive like a virus, but without that you may never get best part; when they admit they feel the same and you can’t imagine why you waited so long to tell them.
But like many things, love is never black and white as it becomes so muddy, so quickly. The problems start before the romance has really begun as wanting something to work so badly, but not knowing if it will, is so exhausting. The timing is sometimes never right and even though you both feel the same there is always something in the way of the happiness you could have. The waiting is the worst and knowing whether to wait for the person is so hard. You could be waiting for something that might not even work anyway, but if you don’t try you will never know right..?
The decision to stay friends is a hard one for both people involved, because you will always hold those extra feelings for them, but if you were always friends first, no matter what that has to count for something doesn’t it? The risk of losing what we already have is too great to just push it aside, but as I said, it’s never easy being in limbo. Should you move on and meet someone else or do you wait until the time is right? It’s a battle of conflicting emotions and feelings.
At the end of the day, the cliché that ‘only time will tell’ is all we have.