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The Loss of My Best Friend (I’ll Forever Miss You)

Hello, Ladies, I am thinking back to January 1987. I’ve just gotten married and have started a new job. I am excited; young and believe the world is mine to grab onto and do what with I feel.  The time of it all is limitless to me at this stage in my life (a young 21 years old). WOW! When I think of it, I can’t believe all that I was naïve about. Prior to that I was going to college, but had had enough of it when I found myself not being able to concentrate on my school work. So, I made the “adult” decision to quit. I put it this way because I had yet to tell my parents. Yep! Exactly what you are thinking is about to take place. You see, I had struggled in my major in Fashion Design, (I couldn’t learn the art of sewing, LOL!); so I changed my major to Business Administration. When I found myself losing interest in that as well, I said, oh well, forget it. About a month goes by and then I finally had to admit to my parents that I had dropped out. They didn’t scream or yell. Instead, my father told me that if I wasn’t going to attend college then I would have to get a job and pay rent.

I was so happy that I didn’t get yelled at that I was quick to comply with his rule. I got a temporary job in a bank and started paying my $60 rent to my parents. I was a happy camper. About a month into working that job, I was picked up permanently by the bank and started my first job in February 1986. It was located in Pasadena and I was living a happy life of working and dating my sweetheart. Bought my first car: a 1978 Datsun 510. I was a proud young lady. Soon afterwards I moved in with my boyfriend, still working for the bank. A year passes by and my position at the bank became nil and I was able to promote to secretary in Los Angeles. It is now 1987 and I meet my best friend in this office. She’s very nice and easy to talk to. She was the one that was asked to show me the ropes in the department that I was working in. As a matter of fact we worked on the same floor just opposite sides of the building (but, we could still see each other if we turned to our heads (left for me and right for her).

After that we realized we had a lot in common, both being raised in Pasadena. Time passes and we are hanging out with each other on the weekends when my husband would have to work. So, we are two peas in a pod. Fast forward to 1991 and we both get pregnant; not purposely. I have my youngest and she has hers (both boys); mine is born in October and hers follow in January. By the way, she already has a daughter who is 10 years old. A few years later have us split; she goes to work in Glendale and I go to another building in Los Angeles. As to our hanging out, life happens and we get very busy. But, there’s that commonality of just good ole’ respect for the other one when we would go days and sometimes months without being able to communicate. However, when we do play catch up we are always good and it’s as if we spoke yesterday (and you know how that can be ladies); when we’re sharing a glass of wine and talking and laughing while the kids are in their bedrooms playing. Now, of course, there were times when I needed her advice/opinion and vice versa and we would talk on the phone in between the times we actually got together.

As a matter of fact, there was a time frame when we both lived in the same apartment complex, me downstairs and she upstairs. Now that was a summer that I won’t how to buy nolvadex online forget. We were able to go to Palm Springs for a weekend, going out dancing at the clubs, etc. Anytime and every time was a good time that we shared. I guess it’s because of our roots and we just appreciated our friendship. However, there was an incident when I was unable to attend her baby shower for her son. And, yes, I felt HORRIBLE! because of it. And, yes, it did hurt her. I was going through so much in my marriage and was feeling overwhelmed from that and having two young boys (2 years and 2 ½ months old). But, I profusely apologized to her and just told her that I was not feeling good about anything and didn’t want to be a hamper on her day. She immediately told me, in no uncertain terms, that whenever I felt low about anything, I could always come to her and talk. Of course, I knew that beforehand, it’s just that I was wallowing in my own self-pity, high-strung, emotionally distressed self, and trying to hold it together. So, I mentioned this because our friendship went deeper than that and we worked through it. She was my spiritual sister.

At the end of the day, we both went through troubled marriages, raising our children, working, and other trials and tribulations that life deals you. We’ve laughed and cried and so much more. When she became ill, it nearly knocked me down. But, I thought that she would get better as did her family and friends. I remember it as if it was yesterday when I got the phone call. You see, I had just gone to see her in the hospital the week before and she was asleep. I held her hand and told her that I loved her and missed her. I let her know that she had to get better so that her grandbabies (her daughter’s children) could see their grandmother again. The following week, I am in my bedroom and got a message from her daughter that she had passed away a few hours ago. I couldn’t believe it. I just lost it, screamed out loud and went to tell my son what happened. I was so full of sorrow and choking with sobs that I was barely able to talk. Once I calmed down, I called her daughter to express my condolences; but was unable to talk to her so I left her a message. I then set out to contact our close friends to inform her of her death. My spiritual sister died within five months after the passing of my oldest sister and almost an exact nine years to the day when my mother passed away.

The funeral was very touching and eloquent. So many people showed up (the church was full) to pay their respect to her and her family. The individuals who got up to talk about her did so with great sorrow and celebration of her life. And her family provided a slide show with Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” song playing in the background. Me and my other three girlfriends (the five of us always tried to get together once every six months or so) cried our eyes out when watching the images of her in the slide show. It was heartbreaking.

She was the one that inspired so many people with her spirit. She would light up the room with her big beautiful smile. Her nature was of one that helped anyone who needed it if she could. And, through it all, she never judged a person, always looking for the good in a person, had strong family values, trust-worthy, honest, kind, funny, graceful, and to sum it up; beautiful inside and out. A mother, sister, wife, and friend.

I’ll forever miss you, Miss C, and am very lucky to have had you in my life (25 years). I am a better person because of you. Your legacy will continue on through your children and grandchildren and what a LEGACY that is!

With much love, I say good-bye until I see you again……………


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