A network for women by women

Lifestyle

Paris tourist with camera

Am I Living My Twenties All Wrong?

Everyone around me my age is really growing up fast. Buying houses, moving in with their partners, getting married and having children.

Being a control freak and organised enthusiast, I planned my twenties to be a time where I could find myself, make great friends, make mistakes, and travel to my hearts content! I’m lucky that I have found a way to combine my love of travel and my career. My twenties, in my mind, are right on track. But my Facebook feed is crammed with friends who are grabbing responsibility by the balls, settling down and starting a family. I really don’t want children, or to get married. When I tell people this, it comes with the reaction “You’ll change your mind!” but I can safely say, hand on heart, that at this moment in time, I really won’t! The thought of a snotty child repulses me (I really don’t have enough patience for children and I admire anyone who does) and the thought of walking down the aisle does not interest me in the slightest. But I thought I had at least til my late twenties before people thought I was odd for not having a ring on my finger, or a little person in my belly.

Apparently not! Girls my age are really juggling work, relationships and family all at the same time, and its making me think, is this what I should be doing? It’s easy to say that you don’t follow the crowd, that you don’t give in to what is normally ‘expected’, but being able to see everyone’s private life splashed all over social media gives you a constant comparison with other people your age, and this gives us ladies a new sort of pressure. We are all aware about the pressures the media puts upon women, about looking beautiful and staying skinny, but when it’s celebrities, there is room for you to tell yourself that they are in the public eye, they are so different from me. Now look on your friends list! Pressure overload! How can you tell yourself that your uber different from people you’ve grown up with, people you’ve known all your life?

My sister in law had her first child in her early 30’s. While out shopping with him in his pushchair, she was stopped by a lady, and asked “Aww he’s lovely, what number is he then?” When my sister in law replied, “He’s my first child”, the lady looked shocked and said “But how old are you?” Have we reached a place in society where by if you haven’t had a child by the age of 30 then you’re weird?

People are having babies and I’m planning which country to visit next! Have I planned my twenties all wrong?

Comments

  • I’m 24 and already friends my age are settling down, married or on their third child! I personally couldn’t cope with all that yet! At the end of the day it’s your life and you should lead it the way you want to. Enjoy it all while you can then think of the whole marriage and babies thing. I know I want all that stuff but my boyfriend and I are very happy with how things are, just enjoying our time together. So embrace it and crack on doing what your doing is what I say! xxx

  • I agree with everything you’ve said. If you check out my article Enjoy The Ride, I talk about similar things. I find it annoying that everyone around me is having children and buying houses but I am happy with living my life at my own pace. Live your life with no rules and no timeline :)

  • Georgia Georgia says:

    I agree too. My article 20-something FOMO talks about similar things.

  • Hollie Tye Hollie Tye says:

    Your writing style is incredible! And I completely agree. I’ve not long entered my twenties and my only ambition is to travel the world and document it as I go. I couldn’t possibly imagine being settled down with children – there’s a whole world out there to see first!

Leave a Reply