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Lad culture

It would appear to me that this term, ‘Lad Culture’ is beginning to get a little confused with the term ‘chauvinistic, desperate idiot’ and needs to be addressed. I’m a big fan of the LadBible and such. I find it brilliantly funny, the majority of the time. Then, it gets ruined by the ability to comment on features and through certain posts and themes, it presents itself. The ‘lad’ title slowly begins to fade and brings with it a certain dark, disgusting undertone that draws out the worst in people and allows thoughts to turn nasty. Please don’t take this as a generalisation of all men, I’m not a man-hater. I’m a feminist, as every woman and man should be, but I do not lay all the blame on men and most definitely do not insinuate that all of these factors apply to the complete male population. I know some men that are more of a feminist than women… I just want to take this opportunity to clear up some of the issues that arise with lad culture being a ‘thing’.

1. You are not a LAD if you celebrate Cleavage Thursday etc. Firstly, it’s rarely actual cleavage that they bombard us with (look it up), so that initial title for the fad annoys me. Secondly, just go out and meet a real  girl. Then, if you play your cards right, you might actually get to see a real pair! Go on, try it. They’re better in the flesh. It’s also nicer to know that they haven’t been seen online by 20,000 other guys at the same time. If you realise that you’re one of these forever alone types who get their kicks from women over-sexualising themselves to the plenty, then turn to porn. These people are professionals and I’m pretty sure that, although I am not a fan of porn myself, they will remain for years to come. Furthermore, they aren’t 17 year old Becca who doesn’t realise what she’s doing to society, but mainly to herself, by letting pervs drool over her… (N.B I am not advocating porn. As previously mentioned, I don’t find it appealing, but nauseatingly awkward. However, some people do. So, rather them than the young naive girls trying to claim brownie points from the so-called ‘Lads’). Oh and don’t comment on them with vulgarities such as “One nipple’s higher than the other!!” etc and dissect her, compare her and humiliate her. Before you chime in with, ‘But she’s doing it to herself!!’ – Yes, to a certain extent she is. But she shouldn’t have. You know that. We all know that. Think about why she might be, then ask yourself if you encouraging it will make her anymore the wiser.

2. You are not a LAD if there is a picture of a girl online, innocently, without suggesting anything sexual and you say “She’s so ugly even my dog wouldn’t f*ck it” or something along those lines. WOAH. What can I say… No one asked for your dog’s opinion on her looks. Nor did we ask for yours. If there is a picture of someone posted, it does not give ANYONE the automatic right to slag off their clothes, face or ability. We get enough of this in the media, without little scumbags offering their unwanted opinions. Unless you’ve met the person, you have no right to pass a judgement. Think it, if needs be. We are human and sometimes we do think negatively, but do not subject us all to your unnecessary opinion.

3. You are not a LAD if you advocate the goings on of scumbags and sexual predators in your group of friends. I’m not saying that men together should completely change their ‘banter’ and behave. I’m saying go to the pub and watch the footy or some other sport that takes your fancy. Be a lad to prove your manliness to the other men, by doing something impressive. You’re no more than pathetic and desperate if you make a sexist, rude comment that gets a lot of likes on Facebook. I mean, well done, there’s clearly a lot of you out there, but those likes aren’t going to get you laid. Sorry.

4. You are not a LAD if you patronise women, or others, for that matter. By patronise, I mean talk as if we’re less capable. Men may be naturally stronger and bigger than women, but that doesn’t make them more capable of being the CEO of a company, nor does it mean that women deserve comments that belittle them in the workplace. I’m not just talking about the workplace, although I could be. Some males also like to patronise by adding that our knowledge of ‘masculine’ subjects is poor compared to that of men. That’s untrue. All you have to do is watch it and read about it and you’re in line with everyone else… vaginas do not make knowledge any harder to obtain, funnily enough.

5. You are not LAD if you allow your sister, daughter, niece or any woman you know to be subjected to ill behaviour. If you are a man, you are different to a woman, of course, but use this positively. Chivalry is not dead and it does not need to be dismissed just because women have greater power and can do more for themselves. There is a difference between being chivalrous and patronising. We need chivalry because really, it depicts kindness and respect. We do not need others telling us that we should receive less pay because we take time off to carry babies. It takes two to tango. Treat your female companions like you would want your sister to be treated. With the help of correct role models, females will no longer feel the need to get naked in order to impress the male species. Boys won’t feel the need to bear overpowering dominance towards girls. Thus, leaving these kinds of men (and women) with fewer reasons and opportunities to support their cruel manner. Women aren’t exempt from these points. They, too, are big contributors to this damaged view of sexuality, but without the participation of each gender fighting against ‘lad culture’. We will continue seeing sexual abuse, gender inequality and pretty much TWATISM erupt all over our screens, media and general lives.

Hang in there guys and girls, we’ll do it together.

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