A network for women by women

Love Lab


What I’ve Learned From Being Married – Beyond the Obvious

Being married is hard work, blah, blah blah. We hear this all the time, we live it, we breathe it. It’s a simple truth that all married couples find out pretty quickly after the marriage has been consummated—this shit is hard work.

Looking beyond all of the platitudes, there is also the super rewarding aspect of being in a marriage and the learning, growing, and the support that happens between two people in an intimate relationship. Yes, there are more lessons than I can probably count on my fingers and toes, but they are all things that your grandmother will tell you—the obvious.

So if you are getting ready to walk down the aisle, here are some wake up calls that you might want to think about—because they are about to be your reality.

You will need to learn to share.
You will need to revert back to those golden rules that you learned in grade school. The sharing doesn’t really always consist of things that you can take turns with, but you will learn how to share your home, your life—and most importantly your personal space. You will also need to learn to get over it if you don’t like sharing.

Sex gets less exciting, and your partner will count on you to spice it up.
You will have wonderfully passionate sex as a married couple and it is honestly invigorating! BUT—it’s just not exciting the way it was whenever you met someone new and brought them home for a one night stand. In turn, your partner will sense this as well and subconsciously decide that you need to spice things up. Whenever you have not made things spicy—they will get upset with you, and you will have a talk about it.

You will subconsciously divide household duties, and then depend on your partner for that forever.
Yup, once you become married and essentially—an adult, life gets busy. Whenever you first move in together or get married, you both just start doing things around the house or complete tasks that keep your life in order. Those become your jobs. And while these jobs aren’t always discussed, we come to count on our spouse for keeping up with that job and become dependent on it being done—as if we aren’t able to ever do it on our own.

You will learn to take turns all over again.
Whether it is with sex, the dishes, or cooking dinner—you will take turns and keep strategic calculations of who did what last.

You will learn to love bigger than you ever could imagine.
The love that comes from a marriage just grows and grows and brings two people closer together than anyone ever though humanly possible. Whenever you say “I do” you think that will be the moment that you love your spouse the most—and while there will be just as many downs as ups in marriage—the love gets stronger as the years go by.

You will forgive things that you never thought you would.
Throughout that dating phase in life, there are things that you have ditched guys for or advised your girlfriends to ditch their guys for doing—then you get married. There is a certain bond that forms through marriage and enables you to look at situations differently and strategically weighing the pros and cons. Forgiveness becomes both more powerful and meaningful.

What lessons have you learned through marriage? Share with us below!


Leave a Reply