A network for women by women



I’m skinny…please don’t hate me!

I’ve just finished reading TIME TO START LOVING OUR BODIES: A PLUS-SIZE MODEL’S VIEW OF BODY POSITIVITY  and found it to be a really interesting, inspiring and on point article. I completely agree with the author’s view that we need to be positive about our own self image and not let the media brainwash us into thinking that we aren’t desirable.
However I wanted to put my perspective across, as it is one that doesn’t get considered very often. I am skinny. Naturally.
Now if there is anyone left reading this (I know lots of women will have closed this in disgust at the previous statements) I want to weigh in with my side of the story,
The media might still, wrongly, promote unhealthy images of starved supermodels placing unrealistic aspirations on the shoulders of women across the globe, but for some of us it isn’t ‘the dream’ to be stick thin. Actually for some it can be just the opposite.
Being skinny has its drawbacks (please don’t stop reading…I’m not moaning, just sharing a seldom heard perspective).
As a teenager there is the obvious name calling eg. twiglet legs, fried egg (in reference to the bosom department, or lack thereof) and so on. For me I was fortunate, in that it was restricted to name calling and didn’t develop onto bullying, however I am sure for some this can have a lifelong impact on confidence.
Clothes are also an issue at times. I know it seems everything is designed to fit size 6, but when you don’t have curves a lot of the time you end up looking shapeless. It can be hard to feel feminine when you don’t have the figure to fill a dress in ‘all the right places’. Put me in casual joggers and a comfy sweatshirt and I like like a 12 year old boy.
Physically I suffer from a great deal of back problems, which has been put down to a lack of core strength. In the words of my nan, I could do with, ‘a bit more meat on my bones’.
Most of all though is that resentment that comes from other women. Something like the kind that I expect to feel emanating off this page as others read this article.
I know I am lucky to be slim, but it is natural. I don’t do it to annoy anyone else. I have not set out to be make others feel bad and I don’t deserve that ‘skinny cow’ comment you’ve just made under your breath.
 I am not anorexic or bulimic. These are very serious conditions and to assume that or use it in a derogatory sense is just offensive to anyone who has weight issues. I don’t want to be made guilty for every thing I eat. I wouldn’t do a running commentary on what anyone else was eating so why should I be subject to it.
I always remember my first Parents evening at secondary school. My PE teacher told my mum, in front of, but not to me, that I MUST  have an eating disorder because I was unnaturally thin. It completely shocked me and I was left with a nagging self doubt through most of my teenage years, causing me to worry that I didn’t fit in with socially accepted standards of health and beauty.
Unhealthy, starved supermodels are poor role models I agree, but naturally thin women shouldn’t be witch hunted as a result. As I said, I am not complaining. I just want to share the other side of the story. We come in all shapes and sizes and everyone should be able to have confidence in themselves, even us skinny ladies.


  • I am sorry if my article hit a raw nerve. I really, REALLY hope I emphasised beauty at all sizes in it and that included everyone; every single reader, including yourself. :) Body positivity is for everyone of any gender and any size.
    The point I wanted to get across was that everyone has their own beauty and shouldn’t look to fit a mold.

    Coming from someone with a larger frame and a low metabolic rate from abusing my own body through eating disorder, I rest at my current size and eat very little. I went from loving food to eating it only to sustain me, and as I get regular exercise and do karate I expected to drop more weight, but didn’t. I have accepted where my body “likes” to be and am in the process of overcoming the next hurdle; actually loving it as a complex machine that keeps me alive.

    I sat next to a classmate in 6th form years ago whilst having a conversation about size difference. She was a size 6. I sighed and said that I wished very hard I had her figure, at which point she turned around and said the exact same thing back. That floored me. We always want what we don’t have.

    Wishing you all the best; this is a very well written counter-article and thank-you for sharing your perspective. Apologies again if I unintentionally offended you.

  • Not at all! My whole point was that I really agree with your comments. As you said I just wanted to share the other perspective, but I think both views are exceptionally important. It was your article that inspired me so thank you!

    • You’re welcome. :) There are too many “movements” out there that use those horrid statements like “meat for the man, bones for the dog” … how is this lifting women up while it’s putting down an entire demographic? And what’s “normal” size, anyway?

  • I enjoyed reading both blogs and both have very valid points. We always want what we can’t have! I have straight hair when I long for curly hair! I think it’s just being happy with who you are inside that is the key thing and accepting you are who you are. It’s what makes us us! The world would be so boring if we all looked the same haha!
    Really lovely reads ladies and much love to you both <3

  • Felicity Felicity says:

    Well said, Hayley. I’m not skinny but my sister is and it’s shocking the way total strangers will voice their opinion about her body when they would never dare do that to an overweight person. It can be really upsetting for her.

  • Kali Hawk Kali Hawk says:

    It really is a dreadful society we live in where we are judged so much by our outward appearances. Whether you are short, tall, fat, thin or any combination of any outward appearance. The fact that people make assumptions is equally annoying. Oh, you’re skinny, you must live off lettuce leaves, and aren’t you lucky……….. What does it matter what someone weighs or looks like ? This is why I find internet interactions a lot easier to cope with. You’re dealing with a persons thoughts and opinions rather than their looks! It’s good to hear both sides of an issue.

  • Terri Brown Terri Brown says:

    ha I really did go to close the article after your opening comment with a role of the eyes (sorry) but stuck with it and glad I did.

  • Thank you all for your comments. I really enjoyed writing this because I struggle to get my point across with people who naturally assume I love my body, whereas in truth I would love more curves and less angles! I’m learning to be happy as I am but it helps to know other ladies out there understand my view. It’s never easier to be satisfied with your own body but would be easier if we stopped judging one another!

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