“Thank you, have a lovely day!”
It’s 6pm, I have said this 100+ times and my fake smile is getting less and less convincing…
Working in retail is, I feel, an underestimated skill. You put up with a lot of crap for a basic wage and sometimes the customers are beyond your worst nightmare. You have to be well turned out, have old school manners and that poster girl grin, when in fact you are just counting down the hours until after work Prosecco with the girls.
Having worked in a variety of shops, for over five years, I’ve seen it all. I’m talking fist fights, endless stupid questions and my personal favourite: refund excuses!
Here I have complied a list of the ten funniest I have ever heard so grab a culpa and enjoy my misery!
1. “I was in hospital.”
This person wanted a full refund for a number of items, over three months after buying them. Fair play she could have been in hospital, but I’m just working the till here girl, I don’t need the ins and outs of your personal life, and I still can’t give you a refund, exchange only I’m afraid.
2. “I spilled coffee on it, now I can’t wear it.”
Ah okay, so now you want a fifty quid refund on a dress with a massive stain on the front that looks suspiciously like a jack and coke stain to me? Sorry love, next please.
3. “An unauthorised family member made the purchase.”
To be fair, this one I had to do, but the pure fact she simply meant her rebel of a teenage daughter had stolen her debit card and spent £25 on cheap jewellery, made me howl.
4. “She is far too young, you shouldn’t have sold her this!”
On the subject of rebellious teenagers, I once had an angry mum kicking off about the fact that I had sold her daughter a belly bar. Yeah it was all my fault her daughter had gone and got a piercing. All. My. Fault.
5. “I accidentally put my card details in online.”
So in real talk: “I got a bit drunk and spent far too much money using your click & collect service.” It was rather amusing watching her return over £300 worth of stock, red faced and ashamed.
6. “My dog ate the receipt.”
Now I appreciate the effort and she was sticking to a classic, but jog on.
7. “I’ve changed my style, I’m going Goth.”
Still not sure if this was a serious one but to be fair, she looked pretty gothic, but it was a quick transformation from the coral co-ord and floral kimono she had purchased three days earlier.
8. “I got mugged.”
Okay, so a terrible thing, I hope it didn’t happen, but trying to get a refund with just the receipt and not the actual items? It doesn’t quite work like that hun, nice try though.
9. “For the price I paid, it shouldn’t be hand wash only.”
She’d ruined her new dress in the washing machine, but obviously that was all MY fault. Read the label next time please!
10. “My boyfriend broke up with me last night, it was definitely because of this dress.”
My personal fave. So much so even though the dress had clearly been worn, I gave her an exchange. Sometimes us girls have just got to stick together.