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Heartbreaks and Hangovers

As I’m sure you’re well aware, when it comes to relationship advice it seems that everyone from your distant relative to that nameless drunk girl you befriended in the toilets of a local bar is an expert on all things love related.

As a recent dumpee, the treatment for getting over someone seems to be just as elusive as the mythical ‘hangover cure’. The world is full of urban legends with inconclusive results; desperately being googled the morning after a night of too many tequila shots, in the hope of magically erasing the threat of vomiting if you have to move more than three feet away from your bed. It’s the same with a break-up. No matter who did the dumping or what the reasons were, chances are you’re going to spend a fair bit of time trawling through  agony aunt columns, or listening to friends and family to see what pearls of wisdom can be offered to you.

A firm favourite among friends seems to be, “You need to get under someone to get over someone”, which could be described as the heartbreak equivalent of the hair of the dog. However, if you’re anything like me then the thought of drinking more of what your body is punishing you for over-indulging will make you want to hang your head over the toilet bowl. Not really the best way to go. Same again with a break-up; is when you’re at your most vulnerable the best time to be throwing yourself back out there, even if it’s just for something potentially meaningless? Probably not. Just like how drinking a glass of rosé with your cornflakes isn’t going to make the hangover any less painful.

“I’m never drinking again” Is possibly one of the most voiced statements in the world, slurred from beneath the duvet covers of countless hangover victims every Saturday morning. It’s also the greatest lie ever told. We all know you’ll be there again soon, propped up against the bar drinking whatever your friends are handing you, and embarrassing yourself as though tomorrow’s hangover doesn’t apply. Just like no matter how many times you swear to your friends that you’re dedicating yourself to a life of celibacy and raising cats, one day you’ll be in a new relationship and all past heartbreak will be nothing but a small bump in the road. One bad hangover won’t stop you enjoying a glass of wine with your friends on the weekend, and one bad heartbreak won’t stop you eventually being happy with somebody new.

Time is always the best cure, and accepting that is half the battle.

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