The spookiest and most awesome night of the year is almost upon us and there’s no end of horror festivals, fancy dress parties and other creepy events on offer. The problem is that these things have an annoying tendency to cost money and most people that I know can’t afford decent toilet paper, let alone tickets to anything fun. Well, who cares? Ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties are for everyone, not just those with money coming out of their ears and tonight, of all nights, there are a millions ways to make your own entertainment. Have a look at some of these:
Invite your friends round to watch horror movies and eat pizza. Stick a Jack O’ Lantern on the table for atmosphere. Pros: Won’t require you to leave your house or spend any money; pizza tastes nice. Cons: You’ve probably watched all of your own DVDs already; slim but very real chance that your friends will make you watch that bloody Evil Dead remake like last year.
Go on a pub crawl while in full Halloween costume. Pros: Halloween’s on a Friday this year; increased likelihood of meeting a handsome stranger (who may or may not be dressed as a werewolf). Cons: Increased likelihood of handsome stranger making fun of your bat outfit (made out of binbags); pubs may be crowded; friends may say unhelpful things like, “I’m not going into an old man’s pub while dressed as Catwoman.”
Find somewhere local that’s supposed to be haunted, and go on a tour. Pros: It’s easier to spook yourself if there’s a chance that you might see an actual spook. Cons: Danger of meddling with forces that you don’t understand; even greater danger that you won’t actually see any ghosts and will instead have to spend three hours feigning interest in some 18th Century duke’s spoon collection.
Stay in on your own and watch scary YouTube videos. Pros: Won’t cost you any more than the internet usually does; the third instalment of Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared is supposed to come out some time this month. Cons: May make you feel like a bit of a loser.
Go to somebody else’s Halloween party. Pros: Free food, drink and company; no need to pay for anything except transport and the binbags for your bat costume. Cons: It’s really hard to persuade people to have parties solely for your benefit. Selfish gits.