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Love Lab


Giving Long Distance Relationships A Chance

When people think of Long Distance Relationships, the majority of them don’t appreciate or understand how much effort is put in, how much emotional strain can be created, and most of all, how couples remain together despite having some qualities of being in a relationship either limited or completely erased. In addition, some people, particularly those in the older generation, tend to frown upon the subject, whether  they are sceptical of their daughter’s newly-found boyfriend, or just generally don’t trust the so-called girlfriend who lives at the other side of the world. What people must understand is that no matter who, what, or where they come from, they are just as human as the family you have dinner with. Who cares about accents and distance, if someone is in love with somebody else, they should have every right to embrace it and make the brave choice of accepting them into their lives as their lover.

Of course, like every relationship, it’s never perfect. While couples who live in the same house can often have arguments, pretend they don’t see or hear the other-half, forgive each other and the vicious cycle repeats, couples in long distance relationship have the same struggles as any other couple, perhaps more and that is my subject today. I myself am single, but I have been the shoulder to cry on for those who have been in turmoil and pain because of their relationship. This isn’t about arguments or disagreements. It’s about longing for one another.

I have noticed that those who are together under the same roof tend to overlook the little things that they are lucky enough to experience, from breathing the same air to plain, hot sex. Those who suffer because of the ocean separating one another cannot do what many couples are blessed with. The beauty of a relationship is how strong it is, how the people involved cope with not only one another, but also the strains that life throws at them. In my honest opinion, those in long distance relationships are probably the strongest in the world. Some may disagree with me, but let’s think outside the box. I know people who lived in the same town and only lasted for a few weeks and I also know people who have been in long distance relationships for three years and are still going. It’s the passion two people put together in their love and affection for one another that makes relationships so successful. Sadly, relationships nowadays are more about a status change on Facebook, rather than the raw, intense emotions a human has for another human, but don’t let this statement sadden you. All relationships can work. It just takes the essential ingredients of patience, compassion, understanding, commitment, and most important, trust. No relationship will survive without the foundations of trust, otherwise it’s just a huge mystery game with your partner. It becomes tiresome, tedious and will hurt in the end.

People cope in long distance relationships in many ways. Just as each human is unique, so are relationships. After all, a relationship is a combination of two unique human beings, so the results are obvious. No relationship is exactly same. I have spoken to a number of friends, males and females, who happily helped me in understanding the fundamentals of long distance relationships and have enlightened me in what psychological and emotional stresses can do to someone, how they cope as a person and as a couple, and what makes their relationships flourish to this very day.

The Key Ingredients
• Trust
• Love
• Commitment
• Communication
• Motivation
• Understanding

I have already touched on this subject slightly, but just like any relationship, these are vital to make them successful. It’s the kind of emotion that makes you lie in bed awake, because you can’t stop thinking and allow your poor mind to rest. The person you look forward to in seeing and speaking every day, via any form of chat-program, from Steam (A common community ground for gamers) to Skype and MSN. Sometimes emails can be just as handy and provides that essence of communication to one another. It’s that expression where you know you are truly in love with someone else, and wish to spend every waking moment with that one person. They are your other-half, that one person who completes you. When they become a part of your life, they become a part of you, and the passion and emotions born when you’re in a relationship are just so powerful and amazing, sometimes you’re too stunned to even realise what has happened after you accepted their question ‘Will you go out with me?’.

As I said before, trust is the very foundations of all relationships. Without it, both parties can be very fragile with just about any suspicious activities, or even when the power of over-thinking can consume someone’s sanity, it makes them believe that their other-half is doing something that they shouldn’t of behind their backs. While this may not be the case for every relationship, how can anyone be at perfect harmony if they have that small voice at the back of their heads telling them things we don’t want to hear, that voice that seemingly knows things we cannot see.

Of course, love is vital. If there is no love in a relationship, then why would it work?  Many relationships can be based on purely on sex, but they don’t really last long. Sex is another essence of romance that has been abused for a number of years. The intimacy of two people merging into one has been used as a weapon, a gain for sexual pleasure, or even a hobby for some! That is something a long distance relationship cannot take for granted. Due to their separation, they cannot have the physical contact others may be blessed with. Sending naughty pictures or switching the web-cams on can be used as filler for that desire, but it’s never the same as being so close with your lover’s flesh. That closeness and connectivity is what a lot of couples who are in long distance relationships suffer without, but it’s how they cope with that missing part of the puzzle in their own comfortable ways that matters most.

Communication plays a massive role in everyday life. It’s what helps us indentify how someone is feeling and what their thoughts are on a particular subject. It’s how we all get to know each other and become friends. When someone refuses to talk to us, we become rather worried, often pondering whether we were the ones who caused them to be silent. We tend to over-think the possibilities of why the one we love is giving us the silent-treatment, which often causes multiple problems to be created, when it could simply be something not as severe as we assume. This sort of situation is rather common in relationships, and even in friendships. The best thing to do is to not give anyone the silent treatment, it’s not going to help the situation and it’s just easier for you both to have a conversation, one-to-one and explain the problems to each other. This is how problems get resolved, and the beauty of lasting relationships is how the couple puts up with the problems that get in their way. Let’s face it, there is always going to be a hurdle for every single relationship, and it’s how you deal with it that counts.

There is so much more to uncover the beauty of long-distance relationships. This is only a watered-down explanation why and how these sorts of relationships between people exist. Perhaps people should learn through these miraculous people how to cope the struggles of being together with each other and without each other, the true reason behind the effort put into relationships is, after all, being in love.


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