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A fun hospital memory

This memory is from my hospital days!

I had a motor car accident, the year before. I was rendered a paraplegic (permanently paralysed from the waist down). Was pretty messed up and my hospital stay was a lengthy one. After a few months, I did not wish to stay there for any longer. So, with my spinal Doctor’s consent, I left and came home, but was in excutiating pain. It was a really bad time for me, and my family. Let me give you some background here, I was in a coma at first and they had to stabilise my spine, so took bone from my hip, made a new vertebrae (as smashed mine to tiny pieces) and then put in metal titanium rods. These things can stay in your body forever! My guys decided this was not for them, and loosened or something.

It looked awful, like something out of a horror movie! They protruded from my spine and showed, rather clearly, right under my skin. Every move I made, these rods strained the skin. I thought these were the direct cause of the pain. So returned a little while later to have them removed. This they did. I was bedridden, after seven days I was bored beyond bored! I made a fun friend in the ward (she was taking her kids to school and crashed the car. Her one son broke his jaw in five places. Nothing happened to her other son. This lady broke her back. S*** happens, hey?) She had a sparkly, no-nonsense attitude. A strong woman. Coped well with this life altering change. She was leaving the hospital and going back home! They have a ‘going-away-party’ for leaving patients, the only thing is, most of the guests are pretty doped up on meds and most are severely depressed, unaware of the events, and just sit there and stare at the ground. Fun party, yeah. I cannot even remember mine!

So I was far more compus mentus then, so as she was a fun person as well. I decided we need something good crazy. Memorable. I decided we needed strippers. I had only been to one party before where a stripper was hired. Did nothing for me but, I recalled he only stripped to a skimpy G-string. Boring! So I decided, escorts! They will strip – entirely. Two arrived that night. As it was not the done thing in a hospital setting, and we could get into serious trouble and could be banned from the only spinal rehabilitation hospital that could and did, do things. We had to keep it quiet. No one must know – only us patients – but we realised the nurses do regular ward rounds at night. So I had to let them in on the plan. All went well.

The Prime Minister  had a private and secure adjoining room built. It had a lounge and small kitchen as well. His wife had fallen down the steps in their house, and broke her back. Obviously, it was vacant then and I decided this venue was ideal. It would suit our incognito leaving do. The escorts arrived. I met them at the one entrance (bear in mind, I had a serious op seven days prior and was not meant to leave my bed for 10 days as could break open stitches, or something. No way could I stay in bed that long, so despite that medical advice, I did what I did. Stupid actually – luckily nothing bad happened!) I met them and ushered them into the ward. I have no idea what they thought.

As we avoided drawing attention, they had to dance to a tiny radio. Shame. Poor guys! They performed and obviously stripped down to full nudity. It thrilled quite a few patients. Especially the old girls. I was advised to notify my doctor the following morning. I did. “Dr. ********, I – umm – I –.” He held up his hand, “Liza (me), I know all about it. Say no more, –“ and walked by. That was it.

That night I fondly recall. It made sad people happy for a time. Including me. Not a conventional kind of Leaving party but, a wonderful night. A night of lot’s of laughs. Lots of fun. A good memory created and never forgotten.

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