A network for women by women



Friends Come And Go

When I look at old photographs and see faces that I haven’t seen for a while or will never see again, I wonder what happened and why they are no longer a part of my life. I think about past friendships that have fizzled out and friends that have moved away and what I really should be doing is enjoying the friends that are in my life now. I strongly believe that with friends, it’s about quality, not quantity.

I’ve never really been the person with lots of friends. I’ve never been popular and I’m okay with that. I choose to surround myself with people that I respect, I trust and care about. I don’t care how many friends I have on my Facebook because life isn’t a popularity contest. You may think your long list of friends makes you feel secure but what they really are is an illusion. How many of them would actually be there for you when you actually needed them?

The quote – ‘People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime’ reminds me that everyone that passes through your life has a purpose. Whether they are meant to be with you in a certain time of your life or whether they are meant to be your lifelong friend, every friend is important. I may not speak to some of my friends on a daily basis but it doesn’t mean that they are far from my thoughts. I’ve recently contacted a friend from high school and we picked up where we left off, we still laugh aloud, share secrets and have conversations about life. Nothing’s changed. We’ve grown, we’ve been down two entirely different paths but we still connect on the same level that we did when we were sixteen.

Those are the friendships I hope to keep close to me. I may only have a few friends but I know that in my darkest times, I have people close to me that I can confide in. In the last three years, I have learnt a very valuable life lesson about friendship. Friends come and go. You can’t predict the future, so be careful who you share your secrets and insecurities with. When friendships turn sour (and more often than not they do) it’s you who is left feeling naïve for believing that you could trust that person. Choose wisely. I had to learn the hard way. After befriending three girls at university and choosing to live with them, I thought I had made lifelong friends. It turns out; they weren’t my friends at all.

I realised that the friends that I should have been spending my time with were in front of me the whole time; I was too caught up in drama with the other three girls to really see it. I’m glad I opened my eyes because those friends are my real friends. I know that they are always going to be there for me. We all live in different places but that doesn’t stop us from talking every day about writing, relationships and our daily struggles. I sometimes feel sad when I think about the friends that I have lost along the way but I’m definitely grateful for the friendships that I have gained.

I have an amazing set of friends and as cheesy as it sounds, my boyfriend is one of those amazing friends. We can talk about anything and everything and it’s important to have that in your life. So next time you look at your Facebook friends list, think about how many of them are actually friends. You could have hundreds of faces staring back at you on Facebook but still feel alone. Pick your friends wisely. I’ve learnt from my mistakes and I hope that in the future I choose the right people to have in my life.


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