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Through the eyes of a bridesmaid

I met Mandy in high school but we really cemented our friendship at university. Since then, while distance has kept us physically apart, our bond has only strengthened over the years and I feel privileged to have been a part of her life, sharing joys and hurt together and being there for one another through the good times and bad. The most recent big occasion was her wedding and I was honoured when she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. Since I live in London and she is in South Africa, I unfortunately wasn’t there to help her during the months of preparation before the wedding, but I did stay with her in her home the very week leading up to the big day. It was definitely a learning experience for me, where I was able to see first-hand the difficulties involved in wedding planning as well as learning from Mandy’s experience. My eyes were opened to the following:

Weddings are as big and complicated as you want them to be. It’s only logical that the bigger and more complicated you want your wedding, the more stressful the planning will be. If you’re going to be a stickler for detail, then obviously you’re going to need to invest more effort and incur more potential worries. It goes without saying that it’s a very big day, however, sometimes the stress leading up to the wedding can take away from the joy and meaning of the day itself, and then, is it really worth it? I think it is still possible to care about the details and have general ideas in mind about what everything will look like, but I also believe that to minimise the stress, it’s a good idea to be fairly relaxed about your ideas and be willing to compromise, or even give up on ideas that are not going to work. There may be the odd guest at your wedding who notices and appreciates all the details, but the average guest is unfortunately not going to have any idea about the amount of time and effort that’s been put into their surroundings.

Brides, it’s OK to let other people buy nolvadex nz take responsibility. Having a bridal party of close family and friends surrounding you, before and during the wedding, means you also have people who you can delegate to. Don’t be scared to give responsibility to people who have said “let me know if I can help”. During my week with Mandy, she took me along to meetings with, amongst others, the planner and cake maker and I helped with the last few stages of the handmade order of service and place card holders. It was a privilege to be able to help her. On the day itself, Mandy wasn’t scared to give the bridal party jobs, such as time-keeping and paying for various services like make-up and the band. This just meant a few less things she had to be concerned about.

Unfortunately,weddings are not a guarantee of happiness, whether it’s someone upset at not being invited or not being made part of the bridal party. If the person’s unhappiness is warranted then fair enough, but there are times at weddings when people become unreasonably upset or angry or annoyed and in those instances, they need to let it go and move on. For example, as an emotionally immature university student, I was hurt when my brother’s fiancé didn’t ask me to be bridesmaid and I’m now ashamed of my behaviour before and during the wedding, especially since it was such a special day. It wasn’t too long after that, in fact probably on the night itself, that I regretted my behaviour, realising that I had barely known her and of course she had friends then who meant a lot more to her and who she would want standing next to her as she said her vows.

The most important thing to take away from a wedding is to enjoy it. When the day finally comes, it will be a little late to change things you are not 100% happy with, but there’s no point in getting down about things that don’t turn out as you would have hoped. Rather than worrying, focus on what a wonderful day it is for you and your husband, surrounded by your loved ones, such as your bridesmaids.


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