I’m at the beginning of my twenties and as I close my eyes, I can imagine my life, I see the future that I want and I know what I have to do to go and get it. Isn’t that what being in your twenties is all about, self discovery? Following your dreams? Falling in love and finding the perfect job? I thought it was. So why does it feel like I’m doing it wrong? Everywhere I look people my age and younger are getting engaged, married, having children and buying their own houses. My Facebook newsfeed is crawling with it. I just don’t understand why. The worst part is: everyone expects me to follow.
I’ve been with my boyfriend since we were both sixteen and now that we’re twenty one people keep asking us the same questions, so when are you getting engaged? When are you getting your own house? When are you having a baby? Wow, slow down. I barely even know who I am yet, I don’t have two pennies to rub together and they think that it’s the appropriate time to bring another human being into the world? It’s madness!
I want to enjoy the next ten years of my life, I want to spend time with the love of my life, focus on our relationship, go to different countries and explore different cultures. Learn new skills and publish my first novel, learn how to drive and take road trips to the beach, get a tattoo or do something crazy and spontaneous.
I’m not saying having a child young is a bad thing, it’s their choice. There are many opinions on this, but I can’t help but wonder if these women, that are my age and younger who have settled down far too quickly and had children are missing out on all of those things. There’s plenty of time to have kids. I don’t care if magazines state that my fertility is already dropping and will continue to do so as I get older, if I am meant to have children, I will and if I don’t, well, I will just buy a pug.
There are women that raise their children at a young age and when their child has flown the nest, they begin their life. Shouldn’t it be the other way round? Isn’t it better to explore, learn and find yourself at an early age? I want to be able to tell my children stories, give them advice and tell them all of the things that I have learnt about life. If I have a child now, I have nothing to tell.
I won’t give in to the pressures of starting a family or getting married. I’m happy and I want to go through life at my own pace. I don’t want to fall into the trap of societies expectations of me. It’s my life and this is my journey, I’m not following any rules, I simply want to enjoy the ride.