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Finding your love can be difficult, but when we do, we feel like there is nothing else, that life is all about them, that nothing can or should come between us.

You’ve got to take a step back and analyse your life. Don’t let someone control and empower you that doesn’t benefit you. Do not allow yourself to get sidetracked into becoming someone’s shadow. Life is beautiful and full of opportunities, you cannot risk life for someone, but trust is a very hard thing to come by and change is inevitable. How are you so sure that you will stay with this person? How do you know that they won’t change their mind one day? If they do, you will be left in the street, with nothing to fall back on. Rebuilding your life is not easy, especially if great opportunities have been dismissed. You cannot rely on your other half, no matter how much you trust him, not even if you’re married.

Relying on someone for the rest of your life is like swimming with sharks; you might survive for the time being, but once those sharks get hungry, your life is done with. Sure, compromising helps and allows both of you to get a little of what you want, but missing a career opportunity or other chances is something that cannot be tampered with. You only really get one chance, or two if you’re lucky, to build your dream career and if you sacrifice your job for your partner, then you might as well give up having hope for your own future; your life is planned out for you. The problem with people who fall into this trap is that they end up blaming the people around them and their partners. Your partner did not force you to do this, you have made your own choices and if you choose to miss an opportunity, the consequences are on you.

There are so many things that you can take charge of and if your other half is forcing or ‘not allowing’ you to take a job or an interview, then goodbyes must be said. Do not let anyone take control or push you into things that you don’t want to do, not even for love.

Regrets are painful and if you allow them to form, you will be stuck with negativity permeating everything that you do. Constantly hoping, wishing and imagining what life would have been like if  you took the career or opportunity; don’t put yourself in that place. The world suffers enough from negativity and pain, do not add that stress into the atmosphere.

Follow your heart and think about your future. No matter the person you are with, they should support you with whatever you want to do and if not, raise your hand and say goodbye, because they are not worth your time and they need to be kicked out of your life. Also, don’t fall in love and imagine fairytales. Nothing is perfect and if you love that person and risk your future for them, remember that they may not risk theirs for you. Think about that before you move.

Be smart, be respectful and tentative of your needs. You are the most important person in your life.


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