A network for women by women


Fashion model.

Not up for discussion…

When did it become acceptable to make comments about my body? In the street by strangers trying to be funny, my family and friends trying to be caring. I get it, I understand, but stop. Please.

To make someone feel uncomfortable about their body is not acceptable and to me, not necessary. We have a problem and it’s not about being fat and skinny, it’s about the ownership other people feel over our bodies.

As someone who has always been the same size, around two years ago I began to lose weight and not intentionally, but after numerous doctors visits and lots of tests I was told that I was okay. No underlying health issues, my body just changed, ‘settled’ as he put it.

Now for all I have been told I am a perfectly healthy individual, I am always asked if I’m okay. If I’m ill. I’m told I need to eat more and that I looked better before. I looked ‘healthier’ before. Have I become a different person? Did I just not realise this before?

My doctor told me I shouldn’t complain, that I should be happy as there ‘are lots of woman who want to look like you’. Well, thank you for speaking for women, first of all, and secondly, my body is not a prize, or something I’ve earned and shouldn’t be lusted after.

My body is mine and mine alone, it is not my boyfriends to do with what he pleases, when he pleases; it is not that man’s in the street, here for him to look at and it doesn’t belong to other women who feel they want to look the same. It’s mine and I am done feeling uncomfortable about it because other people feel uncomfortable about it.


‘You need to lose weight!’ ‘You need to gain weight!’. Those are not my needs. I am not here to meet your ideals. I am not here to serve you for whatever use you have for me. I do not exist for your pleasure and I do not exist for you to judge.

My opinions are secondary when it comes to my body. Sometimes, in certain situations, irrelevant because of it. It’s a woman’s job to feel ashamed about her body. If we cover ourselves we should be ashamed. If we expose ourselves we should be ashamed. Always ashamed no matter what. I am nothing more than a sack of blood and guts with a brain in charge of it all. I have nothing to be ashamed about, none of us do.

I remember a few years ago when magazines were making women feel bad about their weight, mocking celebrities for their ‘dramtic weight gain’ and advocating unhealthy and dangerous eating habits for weight loss. Nothing has changed, only the ‘on trend’ body type and skinny bitches are told we need to get out of the club. It seems body types come in and out of fashion like clothes do. Again let me reiterate…


Our bodies are always up for discussion; we cant be trusted to make life-changing decisions about them, we need to fight for the right to do that. I want to close the book on my body, I want to end all communication about it. I want to just live in it and not worry about what I look like or what someone else is going to think about me. I want to be credited on my passions, my opinions and my values NOT my dress size.



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