Some people date and have partners throughout their whole life. They go from boyfriend/girlfriend to boyfriend/girlfriend and are rarely single for any extended period of time. This is more than okay and shouldn’t be looked down upon. The opposite! What are the odds of finding someone to love and that loves you in return? Especially if you find it several times? Wonderful! However, it isn’t the reality of everyone and some never really enter into the world of dating.
The reasons for this varies greatly. There are those who go through life searching for the right person, but who despite great effort never quite seem to find what they are looking for. Could it be that they are overly picky, that they simply search too hard or that they just aren’t very lucky in love? It is impossible to say as every individual situation is different.
There is also another category. Some people, such as myself, aren’t actively searching. They have no interest in finding a significant other, not now and perhaps not in a very long time. Again, everybody has different reasons and I can only speak for myself. Commitment scares me. I don’t think of myself as the dating type and I definitely can’t imagine myself ever having a boyfriend. It is just not my cup of tea. I have been asked how come I don’t have a boyfriend yet, which in itself is a peculiar question. Even if I wanted one – it isn’t like I could just go out and grab the first one available. It doesn’t work like that. That is not my only problem either, because I simply don’t want a boyfriend. Or a date. That kind of stuff is not for me.
At times I wonder what has made me this way and how come I have no need for romance. The idea of romance makes me laugh and if I ever develop feelings for someone – it makes me mad. I get mad at myself for allowing myself to feel. I can’t remember ever being hurt or let down in love, which could have explained my unreasonable reluctance. There is nothing in my past that could- nor should have added to this apparent lack of interest. What is wrong with me? I feel out of place when other girls and women talk about their need for a partner, when they talk about love or sigh with envy whenever watching a romantic comedy. For that reason I have mostly male friends. How come I don’t want what so many other girls want? I don’t want anyone to give me flowers, to tell me I am pretty or to prepare a romantic picnic for me at the beach. All that makes me want to barf and for that I am sorry. Sorry for myself, because clearly; I am the one missing out. It would be one thing if I wanted it but hadn’t found it yet. Then, at least, it would be up to me to go out and search for it and to give it a fair try. As it is now, not wanting it, leaves me in a place where there is no hope for a love life. I have always thought of myself as a person who is better off alone.
Does this seem sad to you? Wrong. I am not a sad person at all, not lonely, and the reason to why I don’t want a partner is because I am fine the way that I am. I like my life just as it is right now and I don’t see how introducing romance would possibly change it for the better. In the same time I realize that I can’t possibly know this without having given it a try. Perhaps it is time for me – the loveless loner by choice – to challenge myself to a dating dare. Could it be that I have an unrealistic idea of what a relationship and a date is really like? Is it possible that – somewhere out there – there is a person who wouldn’t shower me with compliments that I don’t believe in, who wouldn’t waste their money on romantic gifts and who would let me be… me? Maybe. Even if there is though, I just can’t see myself being in a relationship or going on a date. It doesn’t suit me, or my character, if I would have had one of those.
So you are probably wondering how a dating dare would work. Excellent question. I haven’t quite figured that out yet, but I am considering signing up for a dating website. Not because I can’t find anyone out in real life, but because I need a serious kick in the butt if I am going to go through with this. The real me hates the idea of dating, but what if I allow myself to play the role of an alternative me that doesn’t mind. Someone a bit more open-minded.
Getting myself a date could turn out to be one of the most interesting experiments I have ever set up… Kind of like that time when I tried to see if I could fight the effect of alcohol if I really tried. It didn’t work and all I got out of it was a killer headache, which is probably about the same as I will end up facing this time. Either way, I suppose you should try everything at least once. So be it!
Beware, you reasonable people out there – the Dating Dare is on.