A network for women by women

Love Lab


Dating: Blind Dates, Dating Websites, or By Chance…

My girlfriend and I are going into Taco Bell and meet a gentleman who is also on his lunch break. As we are waiting for our order, the gentleman strikes up a conversation with us. And immediately, the race is on; to get as much pertinent information as possible from the other. As in where do you work, are you from around here, are you single or divorced, any kids, and two very pointed questions: do you like the beach and do you like to go to Big Bear? Well, we answered all of the questions to which I did indicate that I don’t get to the beach as often and I have not been to Big Bear. At this point, he asks if I would like to spend a weekend with him in Big Bear. Now, my question, ladies, is “WHAT??” And, then my girlfriend says “you have to take baby steps first before you get to ask her out for a weekend in Big Bear”. It was classic.

Have relationships become so casual that it is okay for men to assume that they don’t need to court a lady before asking her to spend the weekend with them? Furthermore, there are even occasions where I’ve had men ask if they could park their behinds along with everything they own in my house. Like, I’m going to say, okay even though we’ve only been talking for a week, sure, come on and stay with me for however long you need to. Again, “WHAT???”I know that economy is bad, but not that bad and unless I put a “room for rent” sign on my door, don’t ask.

What happened to getting to know someone on a mental, spiritual, and emotional level before immediately having sex? I know from experience that our hormones can get in the way and subject us to giving in to those urges sooner rather than later as we like. But, for the most part, I would hope that we could all practice some sort of discipline. And, if we as women have read the book by Steve Harvey “Think Like a Man and Act Like a Lady”, are the suggestions he put forth in it helping us? I’ll say yes for some parts and no for the other parts; why? Because we have to meet those men who can act like gentlemen. Not dogs in heat.

Is it easier to meet someone by chance, the dating websites, or being set-up? If you have experienced all three then, what was the outcome and which one was more successful? Yes, I’ll put it out there, I have done all three. Now mind you, I was very young when I was introduced to my husband at the tender age of 16. Yeah, I know and yes he was my first and only in all ways (at the time); but, we are now divorced. As to the dating website, yep tried that for a quick minute, not good! I’m not saying that people shouldn’t try it; if you’re game go for it. It’s just not my cup of tea. Meeting people by chance, the jury is still out on that one.

But, after much reflection and the encouragement from my girlfriend to not give up on love, I guess I’ll keep pounding the pavements and see what love have in store for me. Perhaps, I’ll eventually meet Mr. Right (and not to get it confused with Mr. Perfect because he doesn’t exist, Ladies). Let’s keep the faith and continue to smile and maybe, just maybe, the positive energy will envelope us in abundance.


  • It’s a real toughie. I met my current boyfriend online and as far as I’m concerned we are a perfect match! We both compliment each other. I personally have never ‘just met’ someone, they have either been at work, at school etc. I always believe that fate plays a part and you are destined to meet who you meet in life for a reason. I think we all have this ideal that we will just stumble across prince charming but that rarely unfolds!

    • Cynthia Johnson Cynthia Johnson says:

      Hello, Rebecca

      That’s good to hear. It adds positivite note to something that a lot of people may not have the courage to try and act on. My wish is that if you and yours are meant to be, that it continues onward and may even include marriage (if it is something you are looking for). 

Leave a Reply