You lay on me; the smell of your aftershave filling my nostrils, hands wrapped around my legs. You’re making me tingle. My breathing fastens and my heart skips, I long for your touch once more. You left a mark on my memory, my senses. The feel of my fingers running through your hair, the muffled sounds of your heart beat, the endless chatter about everything and nothing. The warmth of your body against mine was sending my body into overdrive. I spoke the words of love and the moment shifted; the mood darkened, the moment I was waiting for never happened and my heart dropped. All you needed to say was that you loved me too, that you understood my feelings and that you were in the moment with me, but you couldn’t do it.
As I now sit where I am without you by my side, I long to rewind time to when we were still talking and spending precious time together. Now I just feel incomplete without you around and wish I could be back on that sofa with you, lost in the moment with minutes seeming like hours. I’m sitting here typing, drinking, wishing you would see this. Cast your eyes upon the words of my heart, but I know that even if you do, you will never know or care. I’ve wasted energy and time thinking about you and how you are, knowing you spend no time thinking about me, but I don’t have the strength to tell you this or even bring it up. Is it worth it? I will only get hurt like I always do. All this time I have wasted on you I could have loved someone else.
I could have loved someone who loved me back and could have said the words.