I mentioned in my previous post when I announced to friends and family that I was going travelling they all shared their various concerns about how “foreigners” harass girls. However, what I found is that it isn’t the case at all. I’m actually pestered by drunken/ creepy/ drunken and creepy male backpackers who are from native English speaking countries such as my own.
I have recently met up with my best friend in Asia. Now that we are two girls travelling alone, the male travellers instantly assume we are single. It’s a reasonable assumption, if you don’t know someone, but I have noticed few men care to ask, especially after several drinks and consider themselves somewhat irresistible. Which brings up my subject – “When should I casually drop my boyfriend into the conversation?” or more importantly “Why should I?”. I am absolutely proud to have my partner and love talking about him, but when a boy (notice, not a man) is clearly not taking the hint that I am not interested, I still don’t find it necessary to mention that I am taken.
Number 1: I am a person in my own right and if I am not interested then that should be enough for you to jog on. No means no.
Number 2: I don’t want you to start thinking that me having a boyfriend is the reason I am able to resist your charm. When quite frankly even if I was single your ‘charm’ couldn’t seduce a cobra out of a basket.
Number 3: I don’t want to feel like, even when he isn’t there, my boyfriend is fighting my battles. It makes me feel like a tattletale at school. I may as well say, “I have a boyfriend, I am going to tell him and then he will kick your arse!”
Maybe I am overthinking things, but I find that unless asked it is irrelevant to slip my super boyfriend into a conversation I am trying to avoid in the first place. Also as he is currently in a different country, it opens up the can of worms such as “long distances never work”, “how would you know if he’s cheating on you?” and other kinds of similar blah. I don’t need to waste my time proving to a moron stranger how happy and secure my relationship is.
A lot of girls use pretend boyfriends and sometimes even go as far as to put on a fake engagement/wedding ring to avoid creeps. I’m optimistic that one day, far far far into the future…. feminism will include exceptional levels of respect to women and we won’t have to hide behind male masks to avoid unwanted male attention.
At the minute my top solutions are shouting “No!”, swearing, putting my out hand in front of their face with attitude like Beyonce or my last result is having to walk away and find a new comfortable spot. If one of my girls are around then they will always save me but it should NOT be this much hard work.
Would love to hear your suggestions on the best ways to tell a pushy man “No!” and how you girls have dealt with persistent men previously.