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Bestie or No Bestie?

So I’ve been best friends with my best friend for what seems like forever (it’s actually been 3 years this year) but things don’t seem to be as great as they used to be. I left college in April due to my deteriorating mental health and since then the support I used to sometimes get off her has declined and now I don’t really get much at all. It seems to me like the role of a best friend is different now to what it was a few years ago when I was still in the midst of my teenage years and not looking forward to future careers, adulthood and life changing decisions.

To me, during that time, a best friend was someone you could rely on, talk to about everything and have a mutual understanding of each other. Now all it seems to be is me understanding a lot about my best friend’s sex life since she lost her virginity and how she’s doing with all the guys she seems to be talking to but she doesn’t really seem to know much about me anymore, how my mental state is (seeming though it is pretty serious) or how my job search is going. All she ever really seems to do is make hurtful remarks (the most recent being about me not looking like I’m trying very hard to get a job because I’m not on a college course and to employers apparently will look like I’m lazy) and actually makes me feel worse about myself.

I read an article on here recently about the kinds of friends every girl has, now I used to see all the listed criteria for different friends just in her (the mother hen, the best friend, the one you’re jealous of, the one who’s jealous of you, you know the types…) but now all I really see is the one who puts you down. I don’t really know much about growing up and who really does but from what I’ve seen with my mum and her friends doesn’t equate with how things are going for me. A girl’s best friend should stick by her, know everything about her, be able to determine what’s wrong without any verbal ques. I’m actually quite heartbroken because I do need a best friend to guide me through but actually, right now he’s a guy I met through a friend and I’ve never actually met up with because of distance and my anxiety.

I’m sorry about moaning but I suppose the message to take away with you is this: Please please please don’t ever let your girlfriends down. No matter what they’ve done, no matter what they’ve said, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen each other. Now I’m begging, but it’s needed. Right now, I’m in search of a new one.

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