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The battle of the codes

We have all heard about how ‘guy code’ is supposed to control every part of a male’s life, from simple things like how to greet another man through to how to act in public and what girl he should date. However, if there is a guy code then there must be a girl code; a set of rules that the female sex, one way or another, for fear of being somehow thrown out of the female community. But just what are some of these rules? I went in search of them to see just how many of these supposed rules I have stuck to and most importantly, how many I have broken.

Every girl must wait at least a day and a half before calling a guy whose number she has retrieved. Now this is a point that is always well discussed, just how long do you wait until you can call that guy for a date? I am sure even the guys have wondered the same in the past. After all, you don’t wish to seem too eager, even if you are, to the person you are calling but you don’t want to wait too long before giving them a ring because then you appear as if they are nothing but a second thought. I don’t think I have ever broken this rule however, when it comes to speed within a relationship this is where I think I may have broken some unspoken rules.

No girl shall wear the same outfit or perfume as a friend is they will knowingly be in the same place. Now this one perplexes me, maybe it is simply because I’m not the kind of woman to obsess over what I am going to wear day-to-day. I wear what I am comfortable in and suits the surroundings. However, I know there are some people out there that do obsess over what they wear, my best friend is one, but this seems a little extreme to me. It means that every girl that is going to the same place as another girl must in fact be in contact with all those other girls and then discuss what is going to be worn and what indeed they will all smell like. I will honestly admit that I do not follow this rule and on more than one occasion have broken it, though never on purpose. Do I get thrown out of the female community for that?

No girl is to ever hang out with the boyfriend of a friend without the friend present. If permission is granted, there should be at least 3 other people with you. Now this seems a little paranoid to me, sounding as if you can never trust your friend and boyfriend alone together. Something just isn’t right there. If they are a true friend then there should be no trust issue, if there is love in the relationship, once again there should be no trust issue. This is one of the rules that I truly just don’t think should be a rule at all as you should trust the people in your life. However, I can say I have not been in this situation, left alone with a friend’s boyfriend and I can honestly say if the situation arose there would not be a problem. I have however, left my boyfriend and friend alone many a time, even having let them both go out into town together. After all, how else are they supposed to discuss and buy presents for Christmas and birthdays? Does this mean my friend should be thrown out of the female community for breaking the girl code, even if I don’t mind?

If you just met a guy and know absolutely nothing about him, but need to refer to him during ‘girl talk’ you use one example of who he is, something he has, or what he does, and he becomes… that guy. (Ex. “The Camaro guy”, “The Trainer dude”, “The Four a.m. in the Taxi Guy”)  This is one part of the code I do quite often take part in, most of the time for comic effect. It is much easier to refer to someone as ‘that guy’ if you cannot remember his name or, as the code suggests, you know nothing about him. I see no problem in this but what I can’t understand is why it has to be a rule, perhaps it is so that friends of the girl do not become on first name basis with a guy that not even the girl knows anything about.

Now this is where the battle commences, girl code states “Chicks before dicks!” and Guy code states “Bros before Hoes!” Somehow, somewhere this just does not work. We would never have opposite sex relationships in our lives, or at least we would never have ones that lasted and were actually meaningful, if we followed these rules. The guys would be looking after themselves and choosing their male friends over the girlfriend thus making her feel unwanted and ultimately leaving him. The same can be said for girl code, if we always side with our girlfriends and not our boyfriends he will end the relationship.

These codes aren’t logical, these codes just don’t work with the rest of the world, with real life relationships. This makes me wonder just who wrote these codes. Guy and girl code both talk about keeping secrets and never exposing them to ‘outsiders’ and worst of all the opposite sex, yet within relationships we are are taught that keeping secrets from your partner is wrong and can only end up hurting the relationship, we have to be open, truthful and honest, but that would be a serious breach of these codes. I make choices in my life based upon me and my situation and goodness knows, I’m not about to let the girl code dictate how my relationships are.


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