Arguments are part of life. No matter who you are there is no way of avoiding them. Sooner or later conflict is going to occur. And it’s how we handle them that can be the issue. A lot of people deal with conflict in ways that are not healthy, or good for the persons involved. Some resort to knock down, drag out, cutting remarks that are meant to hurt the other person. Often it is to try and regain our pride, and feel better about ourselves. Here are five really helpful rules for dealing with an argument are:
Diffuse The Situation Quickly.
Diffuse the situation and resolve it as quickly as possible before it escalates. In my relationship we believe in not staying angry, or going to bed still mad. We try talk it out, and forgive, before going to bed. Though sometimes it is not always possible. We do try as I refuse to wake up angry and begin another day that way.
Stick To the Issue.
Stick to the issue at hand and deal specifically with that one problem. Try resist the urge to bring up old problems, and mix them with the new ones. Bringing up and throwing the past back into someone’s face will only makes the problem bigger, and it is never helpful.
Do Not Retaliate, instead hesitate.
Do not resort to retaliating, lashing out, or using horrible remarks. Once they are out there it is very hard to repair. The damage is done. You have hurt them in the hopes of regaining your personal power back, because they hurt you. Instead purposely hesitate, take a minute to think before you speak.
Seek to confront and resolve immediately.
To resolve the argument address it immediately before it grows bigger and escalates. Be the peace maker right in the beginning. Be honest and share with the person what they did wrong.
Forgive the person, or at least be willing to try to forgive.
Even if you don’t feel it at the time do try and say the words, “I forgive you” or “I am sorry.” And if you must fake it. Until you can and are ready to let it go.