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5 signs you’re a pushover

Everyone comes to you for favours

When I was 15 I took on a full time summer job. The experience was great and it was amazing having my own money! I ended up lending a few friends some money and before I knew it, I was the go-to person for financial favours. If your friends, family and colleagues always come to you for repeat favours, you can start to feel like you are being taken advantage of. It’s possible your friends aren’t doing it on purpose, but once you have said “yes” a few times your friends may assume it is no hassle for you to help them out. Of course it is important to look out for close friends and family, but you are not obligated to say yes every time! If the favour is a hassle or makes your life more difficult, don’t say yes. A good friend will understand.

You are the butt of the joke

Sometimes in a group of friends, someone becomes the butt of all the jokes. If this is you, don’t be afraid to say something. It’s important to have a good sense of humour and be able to laugh at yourself, but too often and you can feel down and like a target. If it is bothering you, don’t laugh it off like you don’t mind – take aside the person making the jokes and calmly explain that you understand they are joking, but you don’t always find it funny. The likelihood is they had no idea it was bothering you and they will stop straight away!

 pushover

You say sorry too often

We’ve all been there- you are having a disagreement with someone, and you say sorry because you don’t like conflict – not because you are sorry! If you make a mistake and upset someone, you should always apologise. But if you find yourself apologising continuously for other people’s mistakes or to end conflict you didn’t start, you might need to stick up for yourself a little more. Don’t say you are sorry for everything you say and do, if you’re not. People can take advantage of you if you easily feel guilty and are willing to apologise for other people’s mistakes.

 

You put everyone ahead of yourself

Sacrificing your Saturday night plans help your distant cousin move house? Lending your last tenner to your housemate? If this sounds like you, you might need to work on looking out for number one. Of course you want to help your friends, but it is important to have a give and take relationship. If you help your friend out whenever they ask, they may always come to you for help. Keep helping your friends, but if you are sacrificing your needs for theirs, gently but firmly say no.

 

People take credit for your ideas

This is a particularly annoying habit. It can range from someone repeating your stories and jokes, or people stealing your ideas at work to get ahead. Either way, it can be really annoying and upsetting. People who steal your ideas are rarely your friends, and can be using you as a tool to further themselves in life. Obviously, this is unfair. Call people out on it straight away, to put them off doing it again, and keep your ideas to yourself around them in the future.

Try not to complain to your boss, though, as often it can make you look like a snitch. You may feel unfairly treated, but learn the lesson and keep your ideas to yourself in the future. Pushovers of the world, unite!

Comments

  • Katharine Budd Katharine Budd says:

    This is very eerie. I was like that at school. In a way now I still am but I am a lot more forceful. Having a child seems to have finally given me a backbone! You hit the nail right on the head with this.

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